


Keep The Car Running

by bitsori



Series: Heartbeats Accelerating [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Enemies to Lovers, Exes, Getting Back Together, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 15:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17449319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori
Summary: “So it's just us?” Changbin asks, giving Seungmin a look of uncertainty. “Just the two of us?”Seungmin shrugs again - he doesn't know what Changbin wants to hear from him. If he could back out of or postpone this trip he would have already done so.“Only you and me,” Changbin keeps going. “On this drive.”“Shut up,” Seungmin mumbles, shaking head and marching off to the passenger side of the car. “This is for Hyunjin.”“For Hyunjin,” Changbin echoes as he slides into the driver's seat. “Right.”Seungmin doesn't know how he's supposed to survive the next few days with just his ex-boyfriend as his company, in a cramped car at that, but as with most things - it is what it is, so he just has to figure out how to deal.--or: Hyunjin is getting married, and Seungmin & Changbin get stuck on a trip together; AU





	Keep The Car Running

**Author's Note:**

> [ 1 ] I never set out to write 20k+ Seungbin, lmao. I thought it’d be around 5k maybe, 8k at most. And then it just… became a monster on its own. 
> 
> [ 2 ] Shoutout to everyone I bothered while writing this. M, for letting me paste bits and pieces of this at her whenever I needed validation that the characters still felt like them. R, because it was originally a conversation with her that sparked the idea for the plot of this. And A, for being my token American friend (har har) and reading through this to check for details and grammar mistakes.
> 
> [ 3 ] Also bless Seungmin and Changbin for making a bit of noise while I was writing this, lmao, providing apt inspiration to let me keep going. If you’re about to start this fic, I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> [ 4 ] Oh and note: This is set in the US, and all the characters grew up in the US/are Korean-Americans.
> 
> [ 5 ] Edited to add that [Sufjan Stevens' Chicago](https://open.spotify.com/track/7Bo0xLcXWx3pdhqwthqGaz?si=9M4e9GLyRyGWpoFWmaf1zA) is the perfect song and mood music for this fic.

  
  
  


 

 

Here are the facts:

One: Hyunjin is getting married in a week. In Chicago, of all places, which is more than a good 2300 miles away from almost all of his friends who are still living in California. Seungmin hates it, hates that Hyunjin decided to up and leave everything and everyone he knows for a woman, but it is what it is. (And maybe Seungmin _is_ being a tad unfair; he knows Hyunjin and Nakyung wouldn’t have so easily decided on such a big move if Hyunjin hadn’t gotten a good job offer over there as well. Still, it all feels too fast, too soon and Seungmin maintains that he’s allowed to hate big changes.)

Two: almost a year ago, when he’d decided to leave California for a “better life” (Seungmin doesn’t buy it, but again, whatever), Hyunjin had left his prized Honda Accord with Changbin (another choice that he cannot comprehend, but it’s not his life, so again - _whatever.)_ And then he’d proceeded to whine and wax poetic about how much he’d loved that car, and how many memories are associated with _that damn car,_ and honestly, Seungmin thinks it’s a just a car. He can’t imagine what could be so special about a fucking Honda, except for maybe the amount of car dates Hyunjin had with Nakyung in it when they were all still in university. (He doesn’t really want to think about and imagine exactly what went down during those dates, so he tries not to.)

Three: Changbin had The Bright Idea to present Hyunjin’s old car to him as a wedding gift. Seungmin, of course, had expressed immediate confusion - Hyunjin is driving a newer, more practical car now, he’s sure of it. “But it isn’t the same,” Jisung had pressed, chiming because _of course_ he had agreed with Changbin. And then together, they’d come up with The Brighter Idea of driving the stupid car in a cross country road trip so they can properly present it to the upcoming groom. It had taken all of Seungmin’s control not to tactlessly point out the stupidity of the plan; and when Minho had shrugged and actually agreed to the idea, all Seungmin could do was sigh with exasperation. (He shouldn’t have trusted Minho when it was Jisung’s idea, he really, _truly_ should have known better.)

Finally: Minho and Jisung had both just bailed on the trip at literally the last fucking minute.

  
  
  


 

“Jisung is sick.” Minho, to be fair, had sounded really harangued over the phone when he called Seungmin, like he’s been stressed all day from taking care of his boyfriend. Still, Seungmin isn’t sure if he should believe the excuse; Minho has always been good at making excuses and lying through his teeth. (Which isn’t to say Minho is an awful, lying person - he just has very misguided morals, as he would say.) “I’ll get him better, then we’ll just fly over before Hyunjin’s wedding.”

“We should just cancel this whole trip, then,” Seungmin says; he wishes he could sound more confident in his declaration, but the part of him that had gone through the trouble of meticulously mapping out their road trip itinerary has him choking a little, making him sound uncertain.

“No! Nonononono!” He hears Jisung’s faint whining in the background, abruptly stopped short and muffled by what he can only assume is Minho’s hand clamping over Jisung’s big mouth.

“Are you _sure_ Jisung is really sick?” Seungmin questions. He can hear someone faintly struggling on the other end of the line, making him doubt Minho’s excuse twofold. “He sounds well enough to me; let’s just bring him along and you can nurse him on the road. Or you can just leave him alone to fend for himself—” He doesn’t really mean what he’s saying; he’s actually resigned himself to the fact that Minho and Jisung are really not going on this trip, but he figures there’s no harm in still trying to convince them otherwise. “Or maybe we can postpone the trip for a day or two?”

“No!” He hears Jisung chime in from the background again. “You _have_ to go.” And then Minho hisses, and there’s quiet again.

Seungmin frowns. “Minho, are you and Jisung planning something that I should be aware of?”

“No,” Minho is quick to answer. “And he's right, you have to go. It’s already a pinch, having to make this drive in five days, you can't postpone.”

Well, Seungmin thinks, if he's gonna have his way, he’ll make sure they reach Chicago in three days even if it means driving eighteen hours a day. Who needs sleep, right?

“Anyway,” Minho continues, “Jisung’s fever is spiking so I gotta go. Tell Changbin we’re sorry, and just keep us updated while you’re on the road.”

  
  


 

⎈⎈⎈

  
  


 

Seungmin cringes when he hears the familiar honking noise of Hyunjin’s car as it pulls up in front of his apartment building at 7 in the morning.

“Hey!” Changbin greets him from behind the wheel as the window to the passenger side rolls down. He casually lifts his hand to wave, and Seungmin has to inhale deeply so he can remember to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“Hey,” he greets back, bouncing off the front steps after grabbing his luggage.

“Where are the two lovebirds?” Changbin asks after he gets off the car to help pop the trunk and place Seungmin’s bags in it - not that Seungmin needed help. He was, after all, a very efficient packer who managed to fit everything he needed (and more) in one suitcase and one duffel bag. An almost impossible thing, considering the amount of days they expect to be on the road, coupled with a few more days for wedding festivities. He doesn’t expect Changbin to manage the same kind of efficiency - and sure enough when the trunk opens, he's greeted by two suitcases and one massive backpack.

“What part of pack light did you not get?” He mumbles in between grunts as he hoists his own luggage into the car.

“I thought you'd appreciate that I packed ready for any situation,” Changbin comments, chuckling in the way he tends to when he wants to lighten the atmosphere.

His comment takes Seungmin back instead, to a time when things were less awkward between the two of them - to a time when they'd planned a trip, just for the two of them.

_What kind of underwear did you pack, Seungminnie?_ He remembers Changbin asking this ridiculous question; moreover, he remembers being scandalised by the question, or rather, being scandalised by the easy and casual manner Changbin had asked.

And then he'd heard Changbin snickering over the phone line, and Seungmin realised that he had just been teasing. He remembers the warm flush that had spread across his cheeks - remembers being thankful that the conversation was happening over the phone, and Changbin hadn't witnessed the way he turned into a bright, red cherry.

Those were good times, he thinks, when Changbin had felt comfortable enough to mess with him like that. Now, it's like Changbin deliberately takes a pause every time he tells Seungmin something, like he's calculating in his head if it's okay to say what he wants to say, or if he's crossing lines.

Seungmin doesn't really know how he feels about it.

“Hey, where are Minho and Jisung?” Changbin asks again, and Seungmin realises that he’d forgotten to answer. _Fuck,_ he thinks, because Minho had even left it to him to break the news to Changbin.

“Jisung is sick,” Seungmin answers. “On his deathbed, apparently,” he jokes, eyes rolling so Changbin knows he doesn't mean it. “Okay, not really, but he has a high fever, so Minho decided they’ll just fly over.”

Changbin pushes the lid of the trunk down, and then he faces Seungmin. “Sounds mighty suspicious to me.”

Seungmin shrugs. Of course, he agrees, but he doesn't want to agree out loud.

“So it's just us?” Changbin asks, giving Seungmin a look of uncertainty. “Just the two of us?”

Seungmin shrugs again - he doesn't know what Changbin wants to hear from him. If he could back out of or postpone this trip he would have already done so.

“Only you and me,” Changbin keeps going. “On this drive.”

“Shut up,” Seungmin mumbles, shaking head and marching off to the passenger side of the car. “This is for Hyunjin.”

“For Hyunjin,” Changbin echoes as he slides into the driver's seat. “Right.”

Seungmin doesn't know how he's supposed to survive the next few days with just his ex-boyfriend as his company, in a cramped car at that, but as with most things - it is what it is, so he just has to figure out how to deal.

  
  
  


Seungmin first met Hyunjin almost eight years ago, when he moved into his first dorm room at their university's freshman residence hall. Hyunjin had gotten there first, but he had refused to choose a side of the room until Seungmin arrived.

“I wouldn't really have cared,” Seungmin proclaimed after just picking the side closer to the door.

“Still, I wanted to start out being fair!” Hyunjin explained. “Wouldn’t have wanted to create the wrong first impression on my new roommate!”

_Too kind,_ had been Seungmin’s first impression on Hyunjin. And as the year had progressed and they’d continued to live together, Seungmin had tweaked that impression to _kind to a fault._ Because that was just how Hyunjin was - he would treat others with kindness, even to the detrimental of his own well-being. It would be annoying, really, but it was Hyunjin and it’s his natural sweetness that had Seungmin feeling drawn to him. So all in all, he didn’t mind that his college roommate was this big, sentimental sap who looked out for others more than himself.

The only real fault Hyunjin had, in Freshman Seungmin’s opinion, came in the form of one Seo Changbin.

Changbin was a year older, but he was the resident adviser for their floor, so he lived just down the hall, in a really nice and cozy solo room. But Hyunjin apparently knew Changbin from high school, so he was frequently - no, rather, he was _always_ hanging out in Seungjin and Hyunjin’s shared dorm room.

Seungmin didn’t say much at first; after all, Changbin was an upperclassman, and Seungmin was a lowly freshman who was just trying to make it through his first semester of university in peace. Surprisingly, he had been able to make it an entire month before he first snapped at Changbin.

It was late in the evening, a Wednesday, or Thursday, maybe. Seungmin had just spent four hours in the library researching for a paper on Gentrification and Its Economic Effects on Urban Development, and he was exhausted. All he wanted to do was get back to his room and relax on his clean bed, with its memory foam mattress topper and his 400-thread count comforter, both of which he’d specially bought himself.

Except, the moment he walked into his room, there he was, Seo Changbin, looking all too comfortable on _his_ bed, legs sprawled out while he busied himself with what Seungmin recognises as Hyunjin’s Nintendo Switch.

“What are you doing?” He asked; from the corner of his eye, he had noticed Hyunjin move from his own bed, all smiles at first as he lifted a hand to greet Seungmin only for his expression to quickly shift after he heard the iciness in Seungmin’s tone. “Why are you on my bed?” Seungmin continued, and Hyunjin’s confused expression would have made him feel guilty, but he was too tired to feel anything other than contempt and annoyance at the unwelcome person on his bed.

“Oh, hey, Seungmin!” Changbin seemed initially unable to read the mood when he first put down the gaming console. He was grinning at Seungmin like everything was all normal and dandy, but Seungmin’s stoic expression clued him in quickly at least, and Changbin’s cordial demeanor soon faltered.

“Why are you on my bed?” Seungmin asked again, and if looks could kill, Changbin would have long been six feet under.

“Oh! Sorry—” To his credit, Changbin didn’t dawdle, and had been quick in sliding off his bed. Still, it had been too late, considering Seungmin doesn’t get why he had to _be_ on Seungmin’s bed to begin with, especially since he was Hyunjin’s guest and not his.

“Whatever,” Seungmin mumbled, quick to walk over and fluff his sheets as soon as Changbin had moved away from his bed. “Just don’t touch any of my things when you’re over— and don’t sit on my bed. Especially when you’re still in your outside clothes.”

“Oh— uh, okay. Sorry.” Changbin awkwardly proceeded to cross the room to deposit himself on Hyunjin’s bed and both of awkwardly watched Seungmin fix and clean his bed.

“I’m sorry, too,” Hyunjin echoed softly, which really only made Seungmin feel worse.

“Like I said,” he mumbled, glancing across the room to cast a scornful glance at them - at Changbin, mostly, “Just don’t touch my things from now on.

“Okay,” Changbin kept nodding. “Message received. I’m sorry again.”

  
  
  


“So, our goal is to make it there in three days,” Seungmin declares as he fiddles with the car’s built in GPS so he can program the new route that he had hurriedly mapped out the night before after getting off the phone with Minho.

“Three days?!” Changbin squawks in obvious disbelief. Seungmin hums in response, and continues to fiddle with the GPS settings. “Didn’t we set aside five days for this?! And even _that_ was already pushing it - Three days is impossible.”

“Nothing is impossible,” Seungmin responds without much enthusiasm. He can’t really blame Changbin for being taken aback, after all he’s right about the original plan already featuring a tight schedule at five days - and that was with _four_ drivers taking turns at the wheel. “It’s workable as long as we keep on driving.  No unnecessary stops.”

_“Seungmin.”_ Changbin throws Seungmin a weary glance, which the latter returns.

“Eyes on the road,” he barks.

Changbin sighs, but he follows orders and shifts his gaze back on the road. “Seungmin,” he continues complaining anyway. “A three day trip would mean driving twelve hours every day. We need to eat, sleep, pee - _refill gas._ Three days is insane!”

“Three days is doable,” Seungmin insists. “We just keep taking the I-80, and like I said, we don’t make unnecessary stops.”

“Pee breaks aren’t unnecessary,” Changbin argues.

“We just have to make sure that all pee breaks coincide with gas refills,” Seungmin points out. He’s given this a lot of thought, and there was nothing Changbin can say that can convince him otherwise. There’s a really small voice at the back of his head that’s pointing out how unreasonable he’s being, but it’s being drowned out by how much he really doesn’t want to be stuck in a car with Changbin for longer than needed.

“Fine,” Changbin mumbles in defeat.

Now that Seungmin has settled back in his seat, he easily notices the way his knuckles have turned almost white from how hard he’s gripping the steering wheel. It really does sting Seungmin every time he notices that Changbin is holding back. But then he reminds himself that it’s not his responsibility to police or even _care_ what Changbin does or says.

If Changbin has things that he wants (or needs) to say, but isn’t, then that’s on him, and not on Seungmin.

  
  
  


There were always a lot of things about Changbin that grated at Seungmin’s nerves. The fact that he was always overstaying his welcome in Seungmin’s old, shared dorm with Hyunjin was just the beginning of the list.

He didn’t care much for his sense of humor either, and it didn’t really help that Hyunjin seemed to treat Changbin’s lame puns and pick-up lines as the pinnacle of comedy.

He found it annoying, how Changbin would always resort to acting cute whenever he wanted something from Hyunjin - or from anyone else, usually someone who lived down the hall like Jisung and Felix who shared the room across the hall.

The worst was how Changbin always _had_ to weigh in on dinner suggestions - like when Seungmin and Hyunjin would agree to order pizza, and Changbin always had to have a say on what the toppings were, which would be fine - if he didn’t take half an hour when deciding, _each fucking time._

Seungmin is sure that if he wanted to, he could have listed a whole lot more, because for the first few months that he knew Changbin, he genuinely couldn’t stand the guy.

But then it happened. Finals week, end of first term.

Seungmin had allowed himself to be dragged along by Hyunjin and Jisung and Felix to some end of term party being thrown off-campus at a friend of a friend’s place. ‘You need to get a life,’ Jisung had declared, to which Felix had echoed, ‘Yes, have some fun!’ Hyunjin, of course, had laughed and nodded enthusiastically, so in the end Seungmin gave in.

It wasn’t even midnight before all three of them were piss drunk, and Hyunjin was puking his guts out in the gutter, while Felix and Jisung were slumped against each other as they sat by the curb. Seungmin, of course, the only one with enough sense to pace his drinking, was the one tending to all three of them.

“I want to go home,” Felix mumbled, clinging to one of Jisung’s arms, while he watched Seungmin help Hyunjin to a bottle of water.

“Me too,” Jisung echoed, his voice higher pitched and whinier than Felix’s own low grumbling.

“Well,” Seungmin started, turning to give Jisung a pointed look. “Who’s the idiot who parked the car in a tow-away zone, then?”

Jisung made more whiny noises instead of responding to Seungmin who could only sigh in exasperation. In the fifteen weeks that he’d known the three other boys, this was not the first time that he had questioned his choice in university friends. (It wouldn’t be the last, either.)

“I _told_ you not to park there,” Seungmin scolded Jisung. “I _told_ you, several times over! But you insisted anyway! You said it was safe, that the tow-away zone was only in effect during the day. Who even told you crap like that and why would you even believe?!”

Jisung had winced, probably from Seungmin’s nagging tone, and the latter knew that going on an I Told You So Tirade wasn’t going to help but he couldn’t help himself. He would have continue too, if Hyunjin hadn’t started mumbling something against his ear.

“What—” Seungmin flinched; Hyunjin’s breath was warm and ticklish and he had to move away. “What are you saying?”

“Call Changbin,” Hyunjin managed to croak out hoarsely while offering his phone.

“What?” Seungmin cringed. “No way!”

“Call Changbin!” Both Jisung and Felix mindlessly echoed Hyunjin’s words, with no purpose other than to push Seungmin into submission.

“I can handle you guys,” he insisted, even though he knew he had no leg to stand on. It was just him and three drunk idiots. “I can just call an Uber.”

“Call Changbin,” Hyunjin repeated, already fumbling with his phone. He almost dropped it, even, and Seungmin had to snatch it away.

In the end, he gave in - Changbin was speed dial number 3 on Hyunjin’s phone, prefaced by his parents, and followed by Seungmin. He would be disappointed, except, to be fair, Changbin _had_ been in Hyunjin’s life for far longer.

“Hyunjin!” Changbin’s voice was low, but cheery, when he answered. His somewhat nasal twang was even more prominent through the phone line, and Seungmin found himself wincing because of it.

“Changbin, it’s Seungmin.”

“Wait— is something wrong?” Changbin’s joyful tone was quick to switch to a worried one. “Did something happen to Hyunjin?”

“Yeah,” Seungmin deadpanned. “He’s piss drunk. So are Jisung and Felix.”

“Oh—” There was relief to be heard in the way Changbin chuckled. “That’s all?”

“Yeah, except now we’re stuck here because Jisung’s car got towed, and—”

“You need a ride?”

“Yeah…” Seungmin’s voice got smaller; he was mortified at having to ask for help from _Changbin,_ someone he didn’t particularly like, of all people.

“Send me your location,” Changbin calmly instructed, completely ignoring how off Seungmin sounded. “I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

It only took around fifteen minutes - twenty at most - before Changbin was pulling up in an unfamiliar car. He was in the passenger seat, accompanied by a friend behind the wheel who was then unknown to Seungmin.

“This is Minho,” Changbin explained, after both of them got out of the car.

By then Hyunjin had already fallen asleep on Seungmin’s shoulder while Jisung was practically sprawled out on the sidewalk.

“You guys okay?” Changbin asked, hurriedly helping Seungmin pull Hyunjin up. He was more subdued than Seungmin could ever remember him being - at least at the time. He was being completely calm and reliable and _mature._

“Yeah, we’re good,” Seungmin nodded. “They all just drank a little too much. We would’ve been okay, really, it was just— Jisung and Felix together were kind of a handful together before Jisung passed out.”

He turned to look at Jisung, only to almost laugh when he realised that Minho was already by the small male’s side, poking Jisung’s cheeks with amusement.

“This is why underaged drinking is illegal,” Minho said, but it was obvious he was joking because he was snickering under his breath as he helped hoist Jisung up to his feet. “I got this one.”

Seungmin nodded; even though he didn’t know Minho personally, he was Changbin’s friend, and for some reason, in that moment, that was enough to trust him. With Changbin having taken over helping Hyunjin, Seungmin took it to himself to help Felix steadily stand and walk, allowing the smaller male to lean against him before all three of his drunk companions are unceremoniously shoved into the back of what he assumed was Minho’s car.

“You can sit in front,” Changbin told him. “I’m smaller, so I can fit easier with them in the back.”

Seungmin would have protested, but he was tired, so he nodded wordlessly before sliding into the passenger’s seat. “Thank you,” he said, as he pulled the seatbelt over his chest. His tone was subdued, but he hoped, as he gave both Changbin and Minho grateful looks, that his  genuine appreciation reached both of them.

  
  
  


**{** **millennium men** **,** _4 members, 4 online_ **}**

**1jisung1:** hi i just woke up

**leelix:** g’morning mate!

**hw__hj00:** it’s noon

**leelix:** well it’s morning for me!

**ksm0922:** aren’t u supposed to be dying @ jisung

**leelix:** DYING?!?!?!

**1jisung1:** i feel renewed! rejuvenated! reincarnated!

**hw__hj00:** i don’t think u’re using that correctly, bro

**ksm0922:** good, that means i can kill u when i see u next

**hw__hj00:** hey, calm down. no murder on my wedding.

**ksm0922:** don’t worry, i’ll wait ‘til after the reception

**ksm0922:** tell ur boyfriend he isn’t safe either

**1jisung1:** minho says he’s shaking in his boots!!

**1jisung1:** he’s also asking how ur trip with changbin is going

**hw__hj00:** oh that’s right!

**hw__hj00:** what time did u leave san francisco? u on the road now?

**ksm0922:** bye ttyl

  
  
  


 

Seungmin and Changbin switch seats after around almost five hours of non-stop driving. To Changbin’s credit, he manages the entire morning without actually having to take a pee break - although he _does_ practically dash out of the car as soon as they pull up at a gas stop for a refill, leaving Seungmin to fill up the tank, and settle their payment by himself.

“Let’s just eat there,” Changbin says, pointing at the rundown looking diner across the road from the gas stop, after he re-emerges from the bathroom. “I’m starving.”

“It doesn’t look very… hygienic,” Seungmin whispers after they walk up to the diner. He peers inside through the window, and cringes at the sight that greets him.

“It doesn’t look bad,” Changbin counters, barely giving the place a glance through the windows before he heads straight to the entrance to push the glass doors open. “It smells… greasy, but that’s a given, isn’t it?”

Feeling like he has no other choice, Seungmin follows Changbin inside, walking up with his companion straight to a booth table. He feels the uncomfortable stares of the other diner patrons - he assumes they’re all regulars curious about them, as newcomers. He suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

“Good afternoon, welcome to Daisy’s!” The waitress - Seungmin assumes she’s around the same age, with cropped blonde hair, and a healthy tan - greets them cheerfully, handing them a pair of menu booklets as they slide into their seats.

“Good afternoon,” Changbin greets back, nodding with a casual smile already adorning his lips. This kind of casual, but confident behavior around strangers is something about him that Seungmin has always envied, if he was to be honest. He grips the menu that he’s picked up and tries to focus his attention on the list of dishes he can choose from; meanwhile, Changbin starts a lighthearted back and forth with the waitress which Seungmin tries his  best to ignore.

Silence takes over their table once the waitress leaves with their orders (a cheese and mushroom omelette for Seungmin, and a grilled cheese sandwich for Changbin). Seungmin fidgets nervously in his seat, feeling weird. He wonders if he should start a conversation - it’s strange because he’s been on the road with Changbin for hours, but somehow, in the car, with loud music blasting through the speakers, the awkward silence was trifling. But now that they’re seated across each other, with only the hushed conversations of the other customers as background noise, the silence between them was suddenly deafening.

“So— that’s your type now, huh?” Seungmin ends up blurting out, at the exact same time that Changbin asks,

“You still like eggs, huh?”

They blink at each other; Seungmin feels his blood rush to his face - of all the things he could ask, _really,_ why did he have to go _there?_

“You mean grilled cheese?” Changbin gives him a weird look, to which Seungmin wrinkles his nose. He _knows_ that Changbin is well aware of what he means by his question, but he also knows that this is Changbin trying to give him a pass.

Which he probably could use, but he also doesn’t want Changbin to know that his question had been total word vomit.

“No,” he answers through gritted teeth, trying as best as he can to sound calm and unbothered. “You were flirting with the waitress, so I wondered.”

Changbin’s laugh sounds a bit too practiced, at least to Seungmin’s trained ears, but this time he holds his tongue. He figures that maybe even uncomfortable silence is better than this… awkward attempt at conversation.

“I think you know better than anyone what my type is,” Changbin says so quietly that Seungmin almost isn’t sure if he heard right. Their eyes meet, and Seungmin feels compelled to respond with something, _anything,_ but then their waitress walks over that exact moment, heer voice bright and bubbly as she _announces_ the arrival of their food while setting the dishes down on the table.

Seungmin breaks eye contact immediately, glad for the excuse, but the way the corner of Changbin’s lips turn up in almost smirk. He sighs and looks down at his food, quick to pick up his utensils so he can dig in and eat.

After this, it was going to be his turn behind the wheel, and for the next several hours he can focus on the road instead of Changbin’s constant presence.

  
  
  


 

They end their first day somewhere in the northern outskirts of Utah - at least that’s what it says on the car’s GPS tracker. Losing an hour after crossing state lines probably meant Seungmin should have pulled up to a motel sooner, rather than later, but he’d kept driving anyway, until he felt tired enough to look for the nearest roadside motel.

“We should rest,” Changbin says at around seven in the evening, right after they get drive-thru dinner, but Seungmin just keeps going until shortly before nine. He was determined to cover as much road as he can during his turns to drive.

Changbin has already dozed off, and Seungmin realises that it’s up to him to wake the older male up after he parks, and Changbin remains unconscious..

“We’re here,” he announces, hoping that’s enough. When Changbin doesn’t even stir, he sighs and unbuckles his seatbelt so he can more easily reach over and shake Changbin’s arm. “Bin— Changbin,” he mumbles, shaking harder as Changbin continues to sleep. “Changbin!”

The older male finally stirs - or more like, he flinches as his eyes open wide in surprise. “Wait what—!”

Seungmin exhales and leans back. “We’re here,” he repeats, pulling the car keys out of the ignition, and just getting out of the car without another word.

They end up booking one of the last two free rooms that the motel has.

“If this was a movie we’d have ended up in a room with only one bed,” Changbin jokes as Seungmin jiggles the key into the door jamb.

“Well, luckily, this isn’t a movie, eh?” Seungmin answers, his tone humorless as he pushes the door open.

“Right,” Changbin answers, sounding resigned and just following Seungmin inside. He deposits his bag in the twin bed closer to the door, gesturing for Seungmin to take his turn in the bathroom first.

  
  
  


 

_**DAY ONE, D-6 to HJW** _  
_Driving Time: 12 hours, with meal time and refill breaks_ _  
_ _Traveled: approx. 720 miles_

  
  


 

⎈⎈⎈

  
  


 

Seungmin’s phone screen displays the time when he wakes up in the morning as 6:12 AM. He’d set his alarm for 6:30, but it’s the sound of someone showering that wakes him up.

Sure enough, when he looks across the room, Changbin’s single bed is empty. He’s surprised that Changbin is up this early because he’d assumed he was going to have to wake him up and hurry him along. He’s known the older male long enough to be aware that he wasn’t much of a morning person.

He sighs and stares at the ceiling quietly, just listening to the faint sound of rushing water as Changbin presumably takes a shower. His eyelids start to feel heavy again, and he allows himself to lightly doze off, at least until the water stops and the bathroom door clicks open.

He awakens completely, pushing himself up to a sitting position just as Changbin steps out of the bathroom.

“G’morning,” he mumbles, his eyes flitting towards Changbin, who is wearing gray joggers and a black shirt with the sleeves ripped off - his usual choice of sleepwear even after all these years. His eyes fall on the older’s well-defined arms, warmth creeping up his cheeks as he does so. He quickly averts his gaze, and does his best to push away other abruptly conjured thoughts. “You’re up early,” he says instead.

“Well, yeah—” Changbin half chuckles and half grunts in response. He’s drying his hair with a towel as he walks over to his bed to sit on the edge of it. “Been up for an hour,” he adds. “I knew  if I woke up late and took forever to get ready, I was going to get a verbal lashing.”

Despite the joking tone that Changbin adopts, there’s some truth in his words. Seungmin has lost count of the amount of times he’s reprimanded Changbin in the past for taking so long to get ready - not just in the morning, but during any time of day. When they were all living together with Hyunjin and Minho, Changbin _always_ took the longest time in the bathroom and it drove Seungmin nuts. Still, he must really still be half asleep, because Changbin’s words actually manage to get a small chortle out of him.

“Is that a snicker I heard there?” Changbin prods, teasing, despite the hint of surprise present in his tone. “Did I just make Seungmin Kim sort of, kind of laugh? At not  even seven in the morning?”

Seungmin isn’t looking at him but he can practically hear the amused _smirk_ in his tone.

“Shut up,” he grumbles, just sighing and getting up to his feet so he can proceed to shower and get ready himself. “You’re driving this morning,” he adds, to have the last word, if nothing else.

Changbin hums, and Seungmin can feel his eyes burning through his back. He’s glad, at least, that Changbin can’t see anymore, the way his cheeks have turned a deeper shade of red.

“Wouldn’t have assumed anything else,” Changbin replies, just before Seungmin closes the bathroom door behind him, robbing him of the last response in the exchange.

  
  
  


 

Going into their second year of university, Changbin (who was entering his third) had invited Hyunjin to go live with him and Minho.

“It’s a great place, but a little pricey for just two people,” was his pitch. “We need at least one more roommate - two, if we can find someone else willing, since it’s a three bedroom.”

And so Hyunjin had roped Seungmin into agreeing to live with them as well. “Come on, Seungmin— we’d already talked about trying to find a place to room together off-campus,” was Hyunjin’s spiel. Seungmin was more than apprehensive at first. Despite his feelings regarding Changbin having evened out to a more lukewarm ambivalence, he still isn’t sure about sharing a roof with him. Minho as well, was at most a good acquaintance.

“Come on, let’s just try it,” Hyunjin insisted anyway, convincing in his earnestness. “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll move out with you after the initial six month lease is over.”

And Seungmin let himself slowly be persuaded, because this was Hyunjin and anyone who knew him would agree that it was hard to deny him anything. Besides, Seungmin _liked_ living with Hyunjin - their habits have easily synced, and as someone whose greatest anxiety going into university was all about getting along with his roommate, he really didn’t want to have to go through the trouble of getting used to someone new.

Seungmin wasn’t sure, however, if the secure familiarity of keeping Hyunjin was enough to balance having to get used to _two_ new roommates, but at least it also meant having the security of Hyunjin’s company.

“You and Binnie have been getting along better, anyway,” Hyunjin continued to press. “And— Minho seems to be a tidy enough guy.” Seungmin had given him A Look at this because he was pretty sure that Hyunjin didn’t know Minho any better than Seungmin did. “Well—” Hyunjin laughed at the look given to him, “If Changbin vouches for him then so do I.”

But of course, living with just Hyunjin in their shared freshman dorm room, despite Changbin’s perpetually looming presence was quite different from living with Hyunjin _and_ Changbin and Minho in their surprisingly cozy off-campus apartment.

There were three bedrooms - the largest one shared by Changbin and Hyunjin. (“I convinced Changbin to let you have one of the smaller rooms,” Hyunjin explained to him, like that was someone going to make him feel more at ease with the decision of moving in with them. To be fair, it kind of did, a little.)

Hyunjin was Hyunjin still, polite and easy to live with. Minho was a bit more peculiar than Seungmin would have expected him to be, but he was tidy and organized, and occasionally funny so Seungmin fully warmed up to him as a housemate soon enough.

Changbin, well, Changbin was _Changbin,_ and he mostly kept his mess in his own room, and he tidied up after himself in the kitchen and the common room. Anyone else would have probably considered him a gem of a housemate; heck, both Hyunjin and Minho obviously did.

The problem was that Seungmin wasn’t just anyone else.

He took issue with the way Changbin would carelessly press the toothpaste tube right in the middle, instead of neatly, at the end. It annoyed him how Changbin never refilled the pitcher of cold water whenever he took from it. The worst was how he always left the lights on in the living room at night, even after he went to sleep.

“It’s a waste of electricity!” Seungmin scolded him after he couldn’t take it anymore. Minho was out, while Hyunjin just sat on the couch, looking like he wanted no part of this argument.

“I’m sorry?” Changbin blinked at him; he looked genuinely apologetic, but it was also clear that he had no idea what the problem was. “I’m sorry,” he repeated with a sigh, which only served to make Seungmin feel bad. Like he was some hysterical bad guy.

“Whatever,” he grumbled. Still annoyed, but feeling defeated by Changbin’s attitude. “Just be more mindful next time.”

  
  
  


 

“Peace offering.”

Changbin is leaning against the hood of Hyunjin’s car, two tall cups of coffee in hand, when Seungmin emerges from the motel’s reception area. He had already gone ahead and carried their bags back to the car while Seungmin settled their bill at the front desk; apparently he’d gone and gotten coffee at the diner next door as well, which Seungmin can appreciate, especially since he’d already told Changbin that it would be better to get breakfast somewhere along the road.

“Peace offering?” His words cause Seungmin to lift an eyebrow though, as he graciously accepts the drink.

Changbin shrugs, mouth curved up at the corner in an uncertain smile. “It’s the second day of our trip,” he points out, “I feel like we should at least try and make an effort to make it… _not_ awkward.”

“Hm,” Seungmin pauses, and pretends to inspect the drink he now has in his hand.

Changbin grunts. “Extra cream, no sugar,” he recites. “Just how you like it.”

Seungmin looks up, surprised. “You remembered,” he points out aloud before he can catch himself.

“You’re a creature of habit.” Changbin points out with a chuckle. “Besides, it’s only been two years…”

_Two years, right,_ Seungmin thinks. It’s funny to him how Changbin categorizes it as ‘only two years,’ while to Seungmin, he can’t believe it’s _already been two years._ Two years, give or take, since they’d broken up, and maybe that’s why it feels strange to him that Changbin would still remember his personal preferences, such as how he takes his coffee.

“So, you were saying?” He blows on his coffee as he walks towards the passenger side of the car. “Second day of our trip…?”

Changbin nods, and hurriedly makes his way to the driver’s side as well. He takes his time fitting his drink in the cup holder and pulling the seat belt over his chest, before he turns to Seungmin. “Like I said, it’s time we try to make this less awkward, isn’t it?”

Seungmin purses his lips; he agrees with Changbin, of course, but he needs to check himself before he responds because his initial instinct, as usual, is to argue with him.

“Okay,” he says finally, after taking a deep breath. He attempts a smile - which becomes genuine quickly enough after he watches Changbin’s shoulders relax, and his face light up. “I’m sure we can handle a truce, even if only just until Hyunjin’s wedding.”

It’s not even this is the first time he and Changbin have had to deal with each other after they broke up - they had an entire friend group in common, after all. It _is_ , the first time, that they’ve needed to be alone together.

“What, you can’t manage until at least the reception?” Changbin smirks as he turns the key in the ignition; his tone has Seungmin squinting his eyes at him because he knows Changbin well enough ( _too_ well, even) to recognize the subtle change in his demeanor. Just like that, as if with Seungmin’s easy blessing, Changbin now feels like it’s alright to poke fun at him again.

Seungmin groans and rolls his eyes, but he also allows a small smile to curve on his lips. “Shut up and drive,” he barks, but this time there isn’t any bite to his tone at all.

  
  
  


 

One time, Changbin had come home to find Seungmin at home by himself, a stack of untouched workbooks beside him on the couch while some old HBO show played on TV.

“Where's Minho?” Changbin asked, as he took his shoes off by the door.

“Out on a date,” Seungmin answered without taking his eyes off the screen. “Hyunjin is—”

“Doing an all-nighter at the library,” Changbin finished for him. “Yeah, he texted me too.” He padded over closer to where Seungmin was, and took a glance at the screen. “What are you watching?” He paused, and then, with a snigger, as if he couldn't help himself from taking a playful jab at Seungmin, “—surprised you're taking time off from having your nose buried in schoolwork.”

Seungmin wrinkled his nose. “This is for class, okay,” he grumbled. “I’m taking a pop culture elective, and my professor has the entire first season of _The Wire_ down as half our course syllabus.”

Changbin laughed, and plopped himself down on the couch next to Seungmin, causing the other to naturally shift and make room.

“It figures that you'd want academic credit in exchange for some fun,” Changbin teased.

“Ha ha,” Seungmin deadpanned. “You think you're so funny.”

Changbin laughed. “As long as I find my own jokes funny then someone’s going to be laughing at them, right?”

“Okay, you laughed, now move along,” Seungmin told him, hand gesturing as if to shoo him away.

“I live here too, you know,” Changbin pointed out.

“Well if you’re going to watch with me, then it’s best you shut up, so your pea brain can follow along what’s happening.” And then he flashed a smile so sarcastically sweet, that Changbin had to lean away as he laughed.

“Okay, fine, I’ll shut up,” Changbin agreed with a snort and a surprising pat on Seungmin’s thigh. “What episode is this anyway?” He asked, leaning back and settling into the comforts of the couch.

“Two,” Seungmin answered, and then, after some consideration, he offered, “Do you want me to rewind to the pilot episode?”

Once again, Changbin was surprised at the offer. “Really?” He grinned, “Okay, then, but— lemme microwave some popcorn first.”

A week later had them making it to the end of all five seasons of the show, with Changbin repeatedly quoting and mimicking various characters while Seungmin actually laughed.

“SHEEEEEEEEEIT!” Changbin drawled, making an obnoxious attempt to copy how they said the line in the show.

“Sheeeeeeeeeit!” Seungmin echoed, for once playing and laughing along with Changbin.

“I hope this is more than a temporary truce,” Hyunjin commented, obviously happy about the development of their relationship. “I’m glad you two are getting along as friends now!”

“Friends is pushing it a bit,” Seungmin had quickly answered, while Changbin had laughed and slung his arm around Seungmin’s shoulders.

_“Yeah now, well, the thing about the old days...they the old days,”_ Changbin responded, with an accent he’d picked up from the show. He was also quoting a character, but only Seungmin, unable to keep a chuckle in, knew that.

“Is that supposed to be some kind of Baltimore accent?” Minho cringed, and shook his head. “I can’t believe the two of you found something annoying to bond over. Is the world ending tomorrow?”

“You know what, Minho?” Changbin grinned at him, _“If the Gods are fucking you, you find a way to fuck them back.”_

Seungmin was unable to hold it in anymore, and he’d burst out laughing, as Minho turned to look at Hyunjin.

“Is this what you wanted, my friend?”

Hyunjin shrugged, and before long, Changbin and Seungmin’s contagious laughter had spread to him as well, causing Minho to just simply hang his head in disbelief.

(A couple of months later, Seungmin had gotten an A in his elective, and Changbin congratulated him by presenting him with the complete set of _The Wire_ , remastered, on Blu-Ray.

“We don’t even have a blu-ray player,” Seungmin pointed out, confused.

“It’s the thought that counts, right?” Changbin countered, laughing while obviously only just realising this simple flaw in his gift. “Maybe we can get one next year, on Black Friday.”)

  
  
  


 

**{** **still stuck in sf** **,** _4 members, 3 online_ **}**

**1jisung1:** hi is anyone online

**ksm0922:** pretty sure u should still be in ur deathbed

**1jisung1:** i’m all well now!

**ksm0922:** not for long

**imknow** : lmao

**ksm0922:** u aren’t any better, sir

**1jisung1:** anyway!

**1jisung1:** how’s the trip

**1jisung1:** why isn’t changbin responding

**1jisung1:** U DIDN’T MURDER HIM LAST NIGHT DID U

**ksm0922:** don’t be an idiot. he’s driving

**1jisung1:** oh right lol

**1jisung1:** glad to hear he’s able enough to drive

**1jisung1:** that means no harm has come to him

**ksm0922:** wat do u want dumbass

**imknow:** i feel like i shd take offense in how u talk to my bf

**ksm0922:** yet u don’t bc u know its true

**imknow:** lmao

**1jisung1:** ANYWAY

**1jisung1:** how’s the trip

**1jisung1:** u 2 kiss and make up yet?

**ksm0922:** bye ttyl

**1jisung1:** STOP THAT SEUNGMIN

**1jisung1:** anyw minho and i are flying over day after tomorrow

**1jisung1:** we’ll see u when u get there!

  
  
  


 

“Why couldn't Hyunjin have bought a convertible on his 21st birthday instead?” Changbin wonders aloud as he speeds down the I-80. “Then we could have the top down right now, and it’d feel like we’re in the movies.”

Seungmin laughs. “Life isn’t a movie, Changbin. Stop wanting it to be one!”

“I said _feel like_ ,” Changbin shakes his head. “I didn’t say I want life to be a movie.”

“This is the second time in two days that you’ve made a joke comparing movies to real life,” Seungmin points out.

“Well—” And then he mutters something under his breath that Seungmin doesn’t quite catch.

“What was that?” He asks, leaning just a bit closer to hear better.

“Nothing,” Changbin  chuckles, shakes his head and instead gives Seungmin a quick glance. “What’s on _your_ mind?”

It should probably be strange, how relaxed the atmosphere is between the two of them has become. It’s as if the proposed truce had brought forth the real Changbin, the one who was willing to tease Seungmin any chance he got, just to get a rise out of him, or, if it’s a good day, a smile.

And a good day it must be because Seungmin finds his lips curving into an easy smile. “Nothing,” he murmurs, before laughing a little and then adding, “Actually, I’m thinking about how to get away with murdering Jisung and Minho.”

This time, Changbin’s laughter is the one that echoes around them in the car. “You don’t believe in Jisung’s excuse?”

“Jisung? Getting sick?!” He shakes his head. “The sun will rise in the west before that dumbass gets sick.” His words are an exaggeration, obviously, but he just wants to drive his point home. He’s known Jisung for seven years, and the worst health he’s seen his friend in was once, four years ago, when he had a runny nose for three days straight. So now, the more he thinks about it - and he’s had a good 24 hours to think about it - the more he doesn’t buy it, and the more he gets frustrated that he actually let the farce go. “He and Minho probably realised what a chore driving cross-country would be, so they bailed.” Or, he thinks, maybe, just maybe, Minho and Jisung did this to set him and Changbin up - he doesn’t know it that’s better or worse.

“Well, as long as it doesn’t affect Hyunjin’s wedding, and you hide the bodies well enough, I’ll let you get away with it,” Changbin tells him with an amused tone.

“You bet you will, because just the fact that I told you makes you an accessory to the crime, you know,” Seungmin informs him.

“Oh yeah? Tell me more, then Mr. Lawyer—” He stops abruptly, and once again casts a quick side glance at him. “You’re Mr. Lawyer now, right? Minho told me you passed the bar.”

“Not yet,” he answers quickly, not wanting to think about how he feels about Changbin seemingly keeping tabs on him through Minho, especially since it might not even be on purpose. “I mean— yeah, I passed the bar,” he explains, speaking more considerately now. “But I’m not a lawyer yet. I haven’t passed my character and fitness review.” He hasn’t even passed his application yet because he figured he’ll take care of that after he gets back from this trip.

“Oh, right, well, you’re the type of person who doesn’t even get parking tickets, so—” Changbin shrugs, before flashing another lopsided grin at him. “I’m sure that process wouldn’t take long. And that firm you were a summer associate for— they already offered you a job, didn’t they?”

“Mhm,” Seungmin hums, nodding. “Thanks,” he adds, and then there’s a bit of silence again as he tries to think of how else to continue the conversation. “How about you— you’re still a copywriter at that advertising firm?” His question is stupid because he _knows_ for a fact that Changbin has been working at the same agency for going on three years now. Just the previous week, Changbin had been ranting in the group chat they shared with Minho and Jisung, about needing to work overtime for three nights in a row because he was taking a week off for Hyunjin’s wedding. Just because he never responded when Changbin talked in the group, it didn’t mean that he never read what he had to say.

“Yeah. I’m up for a promotion soon, actually.” There’s a hint of pride in Changbin’s voice that makes Seungmin smile, even though this is another thing that he also already knows from reading group chat messages.

“Really?” He pretends to not know anyway; he feels it would be weird to admit that he’s still very much updated about the goings-on in Changbin’s life. “Congratulations. I’m sure you deserve it.”

“Thanks?” Changbin sounds unsure at first, like he isn’t sure if he should be taking platitudes from Seungmin. But then he laughs, and his shoulders slacken. “Thanks,” he repeats, this time with a confident grin. “I bet you’re loving this. We’re having small talk about our jobs like a pair of responsible, fully grown adults.”

“Wait— what does that even mean?!”

Changbin cackles, and Seungmin almost recoils from the sound. His hands ball into fists, and he’s tempted to hit Changbin with one - even if only on the arm.

“I have very vivid memories of you bitching and moaning about being the only ‘adult’ in our group,” Changbin comments in between snorts and giggles. He clears his throat, and when he speaks again his tone is higher pitched, and a tinge more nasal than usual, “‘Stop being a five year old!’ —that’s you at Jisung, by the way,” Changbin declares, his laughter growing by the second. “‘When are you going to grow up?!’ —that’s you at me, and—”

_“You’re_ being a five year old right now,” Seungmin hisses in interruption, which just has Changbin laughing even more, instead of stopping. He feels annoyance rising from the pit of his gut, but it’s quelled by the sound of Changbin’s relaxed laughter. It’s been so long since he’s had Changbin be like this with him - teasing, happy, _unguarded_ and Seungmin realises how much he’s missed it.

“Right! Just like that!” Changbin declares, clapping his hands together while he laughs.

“Changbin!” Seungmin practically screeches, eyes growing wide. “Hands on the wheel!”

When Changbin’s hands quickly and expertly settle on the wheel again, and his laughter _triples,_ Seungmin realises that he’s been set up for the exact reaction he gave.

“Ugh,” he groans, slumping back in his seat and crossing his arms. “I hate you.”

He notices Changbin’s grip on the wheel tighten momentarily, and for a second Seungmin hates _himself_ for having said the wrong thing without thinking.

“No, you don’t,” Changbin eventually says. His tone is more subdued this time, less teasing, and a bit more uncertain.

Seungmin rolls his eyes, and looks out his window. “Maybe so,” he mumbles in agreement. “But— just drive. Eyes on the road, and hands on the wheel, please.”

“Okay,” Changbin agrees, and from the corner of his eye, Seungmin notices a relieved smile grace his features.

  
  


 

It was another night when their housemates were both out - Hyunjin was on a date, while Minho was off with their neighbors, Woojin and Chan, at some party being hosted somewhere in Greek Row. He’d invited Seungmin, who, as usual, had opted to stay in and finish his schoolwork early. (“I already went to that party with Jisung and Felix last week,” he’d argued, as if that was more than enough his share of partying for an entire month.)

Changbin, who had just recovered from a weeklong cold, was staying in as well.

“Hey,” Seungmin started, after having knocked on Changbin’s door and being welcomed into it. “I guess I won’t mind splitting the bill if we had some Chinese takeout delivered.” He said it like he was doing Changbin a favor, instead of what it really was - which was a favor for him, because he was in a rare mood where he was craving half the menu at Chef Chow's - a locally owned Chinese restaurant.

“You won’t mind, huh?” Changbin gave him a look of mixed disbelief and amusement.

“Well, aren’t you hungry?” Seungmin asked. “You’re recovering from an illness, you shouldn’t be holed up in your room, starving yourself.”

“I didn’t know you cared,” Changbin answered with an eyebrow lift, and a smirk.

“Offer’s gone in three, two—” Seungmin counted down, and before he knew it, Changbin had slapped his hand over his mouth in panic.

“Stop!” Changbin shushed him, laughing before he carefully pulled his hand away. “You knew there was no way I’m saying no to dinner.”

By the time their food arrived, the opening credits of a movie Seungmin had put on in the living room was beginning to roll.

“What are we watching?” Changbin asked, bringing the food in and unceremoniously just setting out the food containers on the coffee table before he set himself down on the floor, right by Seungmin’s feet.

“We?” Seungmin lifted an eyebrow as he reached for an egg roll with his fingers. “I don’t seem to recall having invited you to _my_ movie night.”

Changbin let out a grunt as he nudged Seungmin’s leg with his shoulder. “Well I recall you inviting me to split the bill on this meal, so—” He grinned and turns to the television screen. “Also— what class is this for, this time?”

“Excuse me?” Seungmin’s eyes widened, and he let out a cough as his food barely managed to travel down his throat. “What?!”

Changbin laughed, twisting sideways as he reached over to pat Seungmin on the back. “You telling me you’re actually watching a movie _for fun?”_ And then he lets out a gasp so fake and practiced that Seungmin didn’t think twice about hitting him on the arm.

“You already know the drill how it goes— shut up if you want to watch with,” he declared.

“Well, at least tell me what this is,” Changbin said as he dug into his kung pao chicken. “What are we watching _for fun?”_

Seungmin rolled his eyes, and chose to ignore Changbin’s teasing retort this time. _“Pride and Prejudice,”_ he answered, bracing himself for some other comment that Changbin was bound to make. He couldn’t help that he’s always had a penchant for romantic comedies - although this one wasn’t exactly a _comedy,_ and more just a straight up period romance.

“Ah!” Changbin nodded in recognition which, for some reason, surprised Seungmin. “I had to do a book report on this in high school— this is the one where they pretty much pretend to hate each other throughout the entire thing, right?” He laughed, not even waiting for a response from Seungmin, before he continued, “Kind of like us, huh?”

And yet again, Seungmin almost choked on his egg roll. “What?!”

“What do you mean what?” Changbin nudged his knee with his shoulder again. “I said—”

“No, I mean—” Seungmin huffed, quicker to recover this time. “Bold of you to assume I was just pretending to hate you?!”

And then Changbin completely turned so he was facing Seungmin. “Oh?” He tipped his head to the side, and Seungmin kind of, sort of, _maybe_ found him cute in that moment. “I always thought we were joking because I’ve always kind of liked you.”

And for the third time in ten minutes, Seungmin almost choked on his food.

(Later, in the middle of the movie, as Darcy proposes to Elizabeth only to get rejected, Seungmin’s thoughts drift away, wondering instead if maybe Changbin really _does_ actually hate him and was trying to kill him through food. And then he’d glanced at Changbin, surprisingly enthralled and way too involved in the story, and something inside him stirred.

_Never mind,_ he had needed to tell himself. _Focus on the movie instead, Seungmin Kim.)_

  
  
  


 

They’re behind now. Seungmin’s projections had them covering at least under 500 miles on their second day, but they barely even covered 400. Seungmin thinks that logically, the shorter distance means he should be feeling _less_ tired, but that isn’t how it works. Instead, as they roll into the parking lot of that night’s motel, somewhere in Wyoming, he feels even more exhausted.

“Fuck,” he groans, when he opens the door to their room and finds what’s waiting for them.

“What’s wrong?” Changbin asks, needing to peer inside from behind Seungmin, only to laugh when he sees the one bed that adorns the room. “Well— I guess this here, we finally have our movie moment. Told you we should have settled for that other motel a couple of miles back.”

Changbin actually has the gall to sound somewhat jovial, which only serves to annoy Seungmin further. “Now is not the time for I told you so’s,” he nearly snarls.

“Whoa there, calm down,” Changbin shakes his head, chuckling. “You don’t have a monopoly on I told you so’s,” he jokes lightly.

_“Fuck,”_ Seungmin repeats, not even knowing how else to react now that he’s completely depleted his energy.

Changbin’s laughter trails off, finally getting clued in that Seungmin really is Not In The Mood. Instead, he gives Seungmin a more concerned look. “I mean—” He pauses and sighs. “It’s not too bad. It’s a decent sized bed, and I’m, uh, _small.”_ He chuckles softly at his own self-deprecating comment, hand patting Seungmin on the shoulder. “You won’t even notice I’m in the bed with you.”

To his credit, Changbin, who falls under almost as soon as his head hits the pillow, remains quite still. It surprises Seungmin, who remembers him to be a somewhat fussy sleeper - it used to drive him nuts when they were dating, the way Changbin used to scratch himself all over while sleeping.

This time, it’s Seungmin who keeps tossing and turning, unable to keep calm and sleep even though he’s so damn tired. It’s a little past midnight when, unable to stand it anymore, he quietly slips out of bed. He goes through his bag and grabs the first light jacket he manages to get his hands on, and then he walks out of the room to get some air.

He doesn’t stray far, just choosing to lean against the balcony railing right outside their room. The moon is shining up in the sky, unobstructed by clouds or pollution, and it makes Seungmin laugh, because of all the phases, it just has to be a quarter moon.

_It’s the moon phase that looks just like me,_ he can almost hear Changbin saying, just like the numerous times he’s done before. It’s annoying that Changbin is in his head even though the entire reason Seungmin had to get out of the room was so that he can have some breathing space away from him. At the same time, he’s unable to hold in the chuckle that escapes him, because, _okay,_ maybe sometimes Changbin can be a funny guy. (And maybe sometimes is actually _all the time_ \- it’s just that Seungmin would be hard pressed to admit that out loud.)

“Seungmin?” Changbin’s low, gravelly tone pierces through Seungmin’s thoughts so suddenly that he almost jumps in surprise.

He turns to look over his shoulder, and Changbin is right there, standing by the doorway of their room, hair a mess, eyes dripping with fatigue. He quietly walks towards Seungmin until they’re standing side by side, arms touching.

“Oh,” Changbin snickers when he looks up at the night sky. “It’s my moon.”

“You got your name on it now?” Seungmin retorts, to which Changbin just laughs in response.

“You couldn’t sleep?” Changbin asks, nudging him so gently that if Seungmin wasn’t so hyper aware of his presence, he probably wouldn’t have felt it.

“Yeah,” Seungmin murmurs. “You were moving around so bad, it was annoying,” he lies.

He expects some kind of defensive answer from Changbin - a pushback, maybe, or more likely, a teasing comeback. When he doesn’t say anything, immediately, Seungmin finds himself turning to face him to check his expression for his reaction.

“No, I wasn’t,” Changbin tells him calmly when their eyes meet.

“Yes you were,” Seungmin presses, immediately averting his gaze, and instead just blankly staring down at the parking lot in front of them.

“No,” Changbin repeats, more slowly this time. “I wasn’t, because I couldn’t sleep either.”

_“Oh.”_ And suddenly, it makes sense why he wasn’t the anxious and restless sleeper that Seungmin remembers him to be. “Sorry,” he finds himself apologising, even though he doesn’t know why.

Changbin shrugs. “What, is it your fault I couldn’t sleep?” He comments, chuckling. “Are you admitting to having cast a curse that gives me sleepless nights?”

“Stop being annoying,” Seungmin instructs; he’s glad that the blush that’s spread across his cheeks are likely not visible thanks to the dim lighting of the crescent moon.

Changbin hums softly, but soon enough, it’s completely quiet save for the faint sound of crickets chirping from a distance, mixing in with their soft, uneven but synchronized breathing. When Changbin, without a word of warning, leans his head against Seungmin’s arm, he couldn’t find it in him to protest.

_It feels nice,_ he even finds himself thinking as he allows his hand to reach up and rest atop Changbin’s head.

  
  
  


 

_**DAY TWO, D-5 to HJW** _  
_Driving Time: 8 hours, with meal time and refill breaks_ _  
_ _Traveled: approx. 405 miles_

  
  


 

⎈⎈⎈

  
  


 

To Seungmin’s distress, both of them end up sleeping in.

They don’t manage to get on the road until it’s almost noon, which has him in A Big Fat Mood. He wants to yell and scream at Changbin, and he’d almost done so when, as usual, despite already running late, Changbin had taken forever to shower and get ready.

Except he couldn’t because he can’t even look at Changbin directly now, because somehow, despite having fallen asleep the previous night on opposite ends of the bed, he’d woken up with arms wrapped around Changbin anyway, like he hadn’t wanted to let go in his dreams.

_Fuck,_ was the first word out of his mouth that morning, right as he quickly moved away, waking Changbin up in the process.

Whatever energy he managed to gather from the little sleep he did have is spent on trying to push that exact memory to the back of his head, and now as Changbin speeds down the highway, even with the heavy bass beats of some rap song playing on the radio, Seungmin keeps nodding off anyway.

  
  
  


 

“Where the hell are we?”

When Seungmin wakes up mid-afternoon, the first thing he does is check the progress of their trip on the car’s GPS, only to get confused because they don’t even seem to be driving down the right interstate highway.

“Changbin—” He frowns, and looks up at the older male who seems to be fidgeting in his seat. “Where the fuck are we?” He repeats. “What did you do?”

“Hmm,” he hums, eyes not leaving the road. “You still take pictures a lot? Did you bring your camera with you?”

“Huh?”

Photography was a hobby that Seungmin had picked up, spring break of his third year in university, when he, Changbin and the rest of their friends had gone on a three day trip to the Grand Canyon. His older sister had given him a beautiful DSLR camera for Christmas just a few months before, and that trip was the first time he’d been fully able to utilize it. The last year, with him having to juggle law school and an associate job at a renowned law firm, he hadn’t really been able to take a lot of pictures, but of course he had packed his camera with him - it was Hyunjin’s wedding after all. He wanted to capture a lot of memories, especially since their entire friend group was going to be in attendance, and some of them he hasn’t seen in person in at least two years.

Still, he doesn’t know why Changbin is bringing up photography _now._

“Changbin, _what did you do?”_ He repeats, his voice laced with implied threat.

“Well, you see,” Changbin is mumbling, and Seungmin has to lean closer so he can even understand half of what is being said. “I just— you know. I thought we could relax a bit, and take a more scenic route.”

“A more what?!” Seungmin practically shrieks. “Why would you do that?!”

Changbin winces, presumably from the pitch of Seungmin’s voice. “Geez, calm down,” he mumbles, head shaking as frustration colors his expression. “If we’re going to keep fucking driving non-stop, I figured we could at least drive along a better view.”

“Why?! What use do we have for fucking scenery?!”

“Calm down, Seungmin,” Changbin pauses, and inhales deeply. “It’s a just a differential of several hours. We’ll arrive a day later, at most— we weren’t even supposed to make this trip in just three impossible days.”

“I mapped it out so that it’s possible!” Seungmin isn’t calming down despite Changbin’s continuous pacified attitude. Changbin frowns, and he takes another deep breath - probably a sign that Seungmin himself should try and calm down as well, but he keeps going anyway. “We’re behind on schedule as it is! I just want to get to where we’re going— I never even wanted to go on this stupid road trip in the first place!”

Changbin’s knuckles turn white as he grips the wheel tightly, and then before Seungmin could say anything else, he swerves and suddenly pulls up along the side of the road.

“Jesus fuck, Seungmin,” Changbin groans, hands loosening their hold on the wheel as he turns to face Seungmin. “Can you calm down, for fucks sake! I’m not deaf— you don’t need to keep yelling.”

Even in anger, Changbin still always manages to sound composed and rational. It should be admirable, except this is something about him that has always pissed Seungmin off. He’s never been good at controlling his negative emotions, and two years of dating Changbin had always made him feel like he was some hysterical asshole whenever the two of them fought.

“I just can’t believe you’d do this,” Seungmin hisses. “And you did it while I was asleep because _you knew._ You _knew_ that I wouldn’t agree to it, and you did it anyway!”

Changbin doesn’t say anything, but Seungmin notices the way his jaw clenches and unclenches. He’s _still_ trying to keep calm and it’s pissing Seungmin off.

“What? Are you just going to sit there, and not say anything?!” He asks, more to get Changbin riled up than anything else.

“Look—” Changbin growls; he’s gripping the wheel way too tightly again, and Seungmin feels awful for having felt some kind of misguided satisfaction at that. “Is it so bad that I wanted this trip to last just a little bit longer?”

“Wait—” Seungmin looks at him, perplexed. He doesn’t know what kind of response he was expecting, but it wasn’t _that._ “What?!”

“Nothing,” Changbin grunts. He’s refusing to look at Seungmin now, and is intently focusing on maneuvering the car back onto the road. “We’re here now, anyway, and it’d take us longer to get back on the I-80, so just deal with it.”

  
  
  


 

**{** **private chat:** seungmin kim > lee minho **}**

**ksm0922:** be honest

**ksm0922:** did u set us up?

**imknow:** ???

**ksm0922:** minho

**ksm0922:** im serious

**imknow:** u and changbin?

**ksm0922:** was jisung even rly sick?

**ksm0922:** or was it all an elaborate scheme to get us stuck tgt??

**imknow:** is everything ok w the 2 of u?

**imknow:** u haven’t killed each other have u?

**imknow:** that was jisung’s biggest concern

**ksm0922:** fuck off

**imknow:** ok, fr, is everything ok? u sound stressed

**ksm0922:** we got in a fight

**imknow:** that ain’t new

**ksm0922:** YEA NO SHIT

**ksm0922:** THAT’S Y U SHOULDVE THOUGHT TWICE BEFORE SETTING US UP LIKE THIS MAYBE??

**imknow:** calm down w ur keypad

**imknow:** jisung was sick

**imknow:** and anyway it’s high time the 2 of u fix ur issues

**imknow:** jisung and i r tired of always feeling like we have to choose bet the 2 of u

**ksm0922:** i’d nvr ask u to choose wtf??

**imknow:** no but that doesnt mean the 2 of u dont make every get together we have awkward af

**imknow:** seungmin? dont leave me on read jfc

**imknow:** look u and changbin have ur issues but we both know u care for each other a lot

**imknow:** stop being so fckn proud and Just Talk

**imknow:** that’s all i rly have 2 say abt this matter

  
  
  


 

For Seungmin’s 21st birthday, Hyunjin had decided that they should throw a party.

“It’ll be fun,” he insisted. “And it’ll be a triple celebration, with Jisung and Felix too!”

Seungmin, of course, was apprehensive. He wasn’t against celebrating his birthday, he was even up for going out for drinks to commemorate turning legal, but when Jisung had heard Hyunjin’s suggestion, he was, _of course,_ ecstatic about it.

“I don’t want to deal with hosting people on _my_ birthday,” Seungmin pressed, trying his best to get out of it.

“Don’t worry about it!” Hyunjin insisted, his eyes all bright with excitement. “I’ll take care of it. _We’ll_ take care of it, so you don’t have to mind anything. And it doesn’t have to be a big party—- it’ll just be you, and Jisung, and Felix— and the rest of our friends, and then some. Twenty people at most.” And when neither Minho, nor Changbin had complained or contested, Seungmin couldn’t help but give in.

And as parties tend to go, a lot of things happened that night:

One: Hyunjin met Nakyung. Also known as the girl who would one day take Hyunjin away from San Francisco and most of his friends. Seoyeon, who was invited to the party as Jisung’s friend, brought her along, and Hyunjin tripped all over himself trying to sweet talk her. It was a disaster, really, but he managed to score a date anyway. Seungmin has always secretly assumed that Nakyung secretly found his bumbling ways adorable - that it made her want to take care of him. Seungmin doesn’t blame her; this is why, despite always joking around about how she whisked him off to Chicago the first chance she got, he actually really likes her a lot for Hyunjin.

Two: Minho, for the first time since Seungmin had met him, got drunk.

Two-point-five: drunk Minho made out with a drunk Jisung in the kitchen, and Seungmin had unfortunately walked in on them. (He doesn’t tell them, and they don’t really find out that Seungmin had needed to metaphorically bleach his eyes because of them, until four years later, after they _finally_ got together for real.)

Three: after most of the guests have left (most, because Jisung and Felix were left in the living room, passed out drunk and on top of each other on the couch), Changbin had knocked on Seungmin’s door to present him with his gift.

“I thought you didn’t get me anything,” Seungmin told him, giggling because he had actually allowed himself to get buzzed. You don’t turn twenty-one every year, after all, so he’d actually allowed himself to be fed with one too many tequila shots earlier that night. At least he was still standing, and more or less able to think. He just slurred his words a little, was all.

“Of course I did,” Changbin answered, sounding way too sober while he watched Seungmin open his present.

“What’s thi— oh!” Seungmin’s entire face lit up; it was a camera bag that he’d been eyeing in Amazon for about a month already at the time. “I— wow. _Wow.”_ He didn’t know how Changbin knew exactly what to get him, but in his tipsy state, he wasn’t really thinking about it. He wasn’t really thinking about it either, when, in a state of glee, he just leaned over and threw his arms around Changbin’s tiny frame. “Thank you,” he slurred, a silly, happy smile gracing his features.

“You’re drunk,” Changbin acknowledged, one hand gently patting him on the back.

“Just a tiny bit,” Seungmin admitted, sighing and pulling away. His hand lingered on Changbin’s shoulder, and he continued, “How come you’re perfectly sober?”

Changbin laughed. “Well someone had to be responsible tonight,” he paused, as if he needed to control himself from laughing some more. “And Minho definitely wasn’t gonna be it tonight.”

“Oh!” Seungmin laughed as well. “I saw him— his tongue was down Jisung’s throat earlier!”

“Yeah?” Changbin wheezed. “Fucking _finally_ , they got together? Geez, that’s been at least a year in the making.”

“Nah,” Seungmin disagreed with a head shake. “Twenty bucks on them pretending it didn’t happen at all by the time they wake up.”

Changbin looked at him as if to consider the bet. “Twenty-five that it’s Minho who plays dumb, while Jisung actually _forgets,”_ he countered.

“I can’t really argue with that,” Seungmin murmured, quickly pulling his hand away from Changbin after suddenly feeling a wave of self-consciousness wash over him.

“They’re idiots and I don’t get why they keep dancing around each other,” Changbin said. It didn’t seem like he wanted to leave Seungmin’s room just yet, and for once, Seungmin wasn’t in a hurry to chase him away.

Seungmin snorted. “You should hear Jisung. One time, he was like— and I swear he really said this—,” And then his voice went a decibel louder, “‘Minho’s face is art. Minho’s everything is art. I’m an Art Studies major so I know what I’m talking about!’ I swear, I’m not kidding, he really said that, all serious too!”

Changbin laughed - Seungmin wasn’t sure if it’s because of Jisung, or if it’s because of _his_ Jisung impersonation. He just knew, that in his very mildly inebriated state, he wasn’t denying himself the joy and pleasure of enjoying Changbin’s mirth.

“Pretty sure Minho’s found him adorable ever since that first night, when I dragged him along with me to pick you guys up—” He chuckled at the memory. “You remember? When those three were drunk and you were desperate enough to actually call _me_ for help.”

Seungmin huffed, because _of course_ he remembered. “That was the first time I found you acceptable as a person,” he blurted out without much thought.

_“Acceptable as a person,”_ Changbin repeated, and for a second, Seungmin actually _worried_ that he’d offended Changbin, somehow. But the the older male burst into laughter, and Seungmin relaxed. “What, I was only acceptable as an animal before that?!”

“No—!” Seungmin laughed. “No,” he repeated with a quiet exhale. He had no idea what else to say, he only knew that he wanted the conversation to keep going.

“Minho tells me we’re a pair of idiots too,” Changbin said suddenly, veering off-topic and catching Seungmin off-guard.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, Minho tells me that—”

Three-point-five: Seungmin was only about 45% drunk when he leaned in to press his lips against Changbin’s, interrupting him from completing what he was going to say.

He would have liked to blame everything on alcohol, and maybe in part it _was_ \- it certainly helped lower his inhibitions, and it did more than help in quelling unnecessary overthinking - but the truth is that he did it because he just wanted to. Changbin was there, and Minho was right about the two of them being idiots, and Seungmin really didn’t want him to be right. Minho could live in denial about his feelings for Jisung all he wanted, but Seungmin didn’t want to take after him.

And so he did what he did.

Changbin, completely caught unaware, had almost stumbled backwards. But, being who he is, he’d recovered pretty fast, and his hands soon found themselves grabbing fistfuls of Seungmin’s shirt to help him pull the younger towards him.

The kiss was eager and needy, like both of them were putting years of pent-up frustration and repressed attraction into it.

Seungmin felt all warm and flush all over, and there was a small voice at the back of his head, which, funny enough wasn’t yelling at him to stop, but rather cheering him on. It was distracting anyway, and Seungmin was still in the middle of figuring out how to shut it off when Changbin suddenly pulled away.

“Why—” Seungmin asked, hands reluctantly letting go as well.

“Not like this,” Changbin pointed out, a warm smile drawn on his lips. “You’re still kind of drunk and—” he paused and inhaled as if to catch his breath, “If we’re doing this, then we have to do this right. So let me, uh—” he laughed, ducking his head in cute embarrassment, “Let me take you on a date when you’re sober, yeah?”

It was that exact moment that Seungmin first really admitted it to himself. He liked Changbin - he liked Changbin _a whole fucking lot,_ and this calm, unwavering concern and looking out that he was displaying right then and there was just one of the many reasons why.

  
  
  


 

Seungmin continues to give Changbin the cold shoulder when the latter asks what he wants to eat. It’s late anyway, and Seungmin has subsisted on chips and nuts for the entire day so far. It’s not even that he’s still angry at Changbin, now it’s more that he just isn’t sure how to feel at all.

He’s spent the last hour and a half analyzing Changbin’s words in his head: _Is it so bad that I wanted this trip to last just a little bit longer?_

The answer should be _yes, it’s bad, it’s the fucking worst because being stuck in this car with you is torture,_ except it isn’t. It freaks Seungmin out that he wants to put a pause on time as well. It hasn’t been long, but out on the road time feels _relative._

The next thing Seungmin knows is that Changbin is entering some fast food drive-thru. Changbin gives him a questioning glance before barking out orders, but he quickly looks away.

“Whatever,” Changbin mumbles, before proceeding to order enough food for two people anyway.

The silence in the car that follows is deafening. Even the radio is silent, and Seungmin is tempted to fiddle with it and maybe blast some classical music out loud just to get a rise out of Changbin - he used to obnoxiously play Vivaldi in their apartment back in the day, whenever he needed to study for exams, and Changbin always had a snarky comment or two to say about his choice of background scoring.

But he doesn’t, because he doesn’t want Changbin to have the satisfaction of knowing that his own silence has gotten to him. He’s also pretty hungry, and even though he knows that one of the meals that Changbin got is for him, he refuses to ask for it, so instead he closes his eyes and tries to will the hunger away.

He isn’t sure how much time has passed (ten minutes maybe, twenty at most) when he feels the car pull to a stop. His eyes flutter open, and he squints outside his window to try and figure out where they are.

He snaps his head around to look at Changbin who is already turning the engine off and pulling the car key out of the ignition.

“I’m hungry,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone, before he reaches for the bundles of food that he’d deposited in the back seat, and then stepping out of the car.

Seungmin opens his mouth to say something, but his stomach starts rumbling a little too loud before he can even get a word out.

“Shit,” he mumbles, closing his eyes once more and taking a deep breath before he allows himself to carefully undo his seatbelt so he can follow Changbin outside. “Shit,” he repeats, after he steps out and he’s able to catch a better glimpse of their surroundings. They’re parked a few meters away from the edge of a rocky cliff, with a majestic view of rocky mountain peaks spread out across the horizon. “Where are we?” He asks in a soft, quiet voice.

“Middle of Nowhere,” Changbin answers in a dismissive tone. He’s perched on the hood of the car, take out burgers and fries next to him. “You should get your camera,” he adds. “The sun’s setting soon, and I bet it’s gonna be gorgeous on film.”

Seungmin blinks at him, but then he quietly acquiesces, popping the trunk open himself so he can go through his bag for his camera.

  
  
  


 

“Why do you like me?”

Ten months into their relationship, Seungmin asked Changbin this. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to ask, but it was what came out of his mouth anyway.

The inquiry was mostly brought on by an off-hand comment that Hyunjin made, “You surprised everyone— well, _me._ Minho didn’t seem that shocked, but honestly you really surprised me when the two of you started going out.” Seungmin had no idea how to respond to that, but Hyunjin didn’t seem to notice (or mind), because he kept going anyway. “For a while, after you started, I thought it would be touch and go— I was scared you were just going to start hating each other again, but it’s been a while, and you guys seem to really work together? So I’m very happy for you.”

“Thanks?” Was eventually all Seungmin could reply with, and he even said it with a tinge of uncertainty.

Meanwhile, “Why this so suddenly?” had been Changbin’s initial response at the question.

Seungmin shrugged. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re together.” _Sometimes I wonder how we work,_ he thought to himself, because strangely enough, like Hyunjin pointed out, they really did.

“This is a serious question?” Changbin asked, worry lines etched across his forehead like he was trying to figure out how and where this question had come from.

Seungmin was never the insecure type - or at least, he was never the type to let himself be defeated by his personal demons. He knew his strengths, and he knew his weaknesses and self-awareness is always a strong tool in helping one overcome their shortcomings. In general, to Seungmin, _information_ has always been his tools. The more he knew, the more he dealt with life better.

Information: the ten months prior had been very good to him.

Also: despite never having verbalised any of it out loud, there were a lot of things that he admired about Changbin. He liked the older male’s easy confidence - Changbin was good at a lot of things, but he was never cocky about any of it. When they were freshmen, he used to help Hyunjin with his calculus, but he was always patient, encouraging. Attributes Seungmin always secretly wished he possessed. He was also - and this is something that Seungmin will probably take to his grave - actually quite _funny._ He was also kind and unabashedly sweet and gracious with compliments. All these things put together, it really wasn’t hard to fall for someone like him.

Finally: Seungmin knew that his list of shortcomings included (but was not limited to) him being inherently judgmental and being naturally irritable and easy to anger. In the words of Jisung, he seemed to ‘perpetually have a stick up his ass.’ While it was also another thing he will never admit, he was well aware that he was 80% of the reason why he and Changbin had a hard time getting along at first.

All in all, it was a mystery to Seungmin _why_ Changbin even liked him - and _how_ it was that they’ve managed to have ten wonderful months together.

“Of course it’s serious,” Seungmin answered, frowning. He was a little annoyed that Changbin even had to ask. “Have I ever been the type to ask frivolous questions?” He’s being testy again, and even then, at the back of his head, he knew this was one of the things that would probably have turned off any other person.

Not Changbin, though. He just laughed and ignored the irritable undercurrent of Seungmin’s tone, eventually going silent so he could give the question some serious thought.

“I just—” Changbin shrugged. “I like you because you’re you, Seungmin.”

Seungmin threw him an exasperated look, and once again he just laughed.

“You’re a lot of great things, Seungmin, do you really need me to enumerate all of them?” Changbin asked, without even the slightest trace of exasperation in his tone. Instead, he just sounded amused, and mentally, Seungmin added his patience on the list of things that naturally dew him to his boyfriend. He wanted to say _yes,_ he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want Changbin to actually answer, but that felt unusually needy so Seungmin kept his mouth shut, lips pressed tightly together.

“Whatever if you don’t want to,” he snapped instead; his passive aggression was yet another thing he knew belonged under his long list of personal weaknesses.

“Stop—” Changbin laughed. “You’re a great person, Seungmin. I really like that you’re competitive and focused— I mean, sometimes you’re a little _too_ competitive and you’re kind of a sore loser—” he laughed, and leaned away, as if he was half-expecting Seungmin to hit for that, but Seungmin just _stared._ He was listening, and he wanted to hear more, so Changbin continued, “—but it’s kinda cute when you get all determined. Like last week, when we were playing scrabble with Minho and Woojin, and you got to use ‘X’ for a triple letter _and_ a triple word score, you were so happy, it was really … uh— adorable.” And then Changbin paused, and Seungmin couldn’t help but notice the light blush that had spread across his cheeks.

_You’re adorable,_ he almost said, but he bit his tongue and held it in. His own face felt warm, and he could easily imagine Minho walking in on them and making an obnoxious comment about how they looked like a pair of cherry tomatoes.

“And—” Changbin let out a of air, before he continued, “You’re a really sweet person in your own way. You’re always telling us off and scolding us for little things like leaving the lights on, or for forgetting to throw away the trash, and sometimes that’s annoying, but I know that’s just how you take care of everyone around you. You always remind us when the pantry is empty, and you’re always doing the accounting for everyone’s shared bills— I don’t know how me and Hyunjin and Minho would have fared if you weren’t helping us get organized.”

Seungmin pursed his lips and stared at Changbin as he let the latter’s words wash over him. They crept inside his heart, filling every empty nook and cranny, until Seungmin felt completely full and _loved_ and—

“There are a lot more, but this is really embarrassing Seungmin,” Changbin said, laughing hoarsely as he looked away and rubbed his nose. “Just know, it’s all these things and more that make you a great person. It’s all these things and more that make me love you.”

Seungmin froze, unsure if he’d just heard the right words. Changbin had been so casual about them too, like he didn’t need to think twice at all before he said them.

“Excuse me?” Seungmin asked, trying his best not to sound judgmental, or offended, or basically sound like how he normally would.

“Huh? What—?” Changbin looked up to meet his gaze, and Seungmin watched as his expression switched from casually confused to genuine surprise at his own words. It made more sense to Seungmin after he realised that Changbin hadn’t meant to say the words either. “Oh. _Oh.”_ And then he grew silent for all of two seconds, before laughter trickled out of him. “Yeah, well—” He silently swallowed, shrugged, and lifted his gaze to once again meet Seungmin’s, “I meant it.”

Seungmin remained quiet at first, while Changbin became uncharacteristically flustered. He had to admit, it was quite amusing. “You— ah, well,” Changbin laughed nervously, “You don’t have to say it back right now or anything—”

“Shut up,” Seungmin found himself suddenly interrupting Changbin’s yammering.  “I know I don’t have to say it back, or anything, but—” He caught his breath, and just for a split second he second guessed himself. “I love you too,” he said, and when the words slid off his tongue they felt more natural than Seungmin ever thought they would.

  
  
  


 

“Did you get nice photos?”

The sun has set and the food is all gone. Seungmin is leaning back against the hood of the car, camera strap slung over his neck and an almost empty cup of soda in his hands. The two of them haven’t said a word to each other for a whole hour now, that when Changbin asks the question, Seungmin almost jumps out of his shoes in surprise.

“Um,” he mumbles, placing his cup down on the hood so he can easily slide the camera strap over his head. “Here,” he says, carefully handing the camera itself over to Changbin. “Did you know about this view?” He asks, hand gesturing around them

Changbin shrugs his shoulder noncommittally, and Seungmin is left to wonder what that means. Silence takes over again as Changbin wordlessly scrolls through the camera roll; occasionally he’d let out soft, appreciative grunts but otherwise he remains completely mum. Truth is, it’s starting to drive Seungmin insane - he didn’t know that Changbin was capable of this much quiet.

“Changbin, I—” The words get caught in Seungmin’s throat, and he has to clear his throat and take a deep breath, catching Changbin’s attention in the process, before he can continue. “I’m sorry,” he squeaks out. Changbin lifts an eyebrow at him, and he repeats his words, this time clearer, and with more confidence. “I’m sorry— for yelling hysterically at you earlier in the car.”

“Yeah?” Changbin hums. “Did I really just hear right? The Great Seungmin Kim just… _apologised?”_

“Shut up,” Seungmin mutters under his breath. “I can take it back if you don’t want it.”

Changbin laughs, and turns a little so that he can sling the camera strap back over Seungmin’s neck. “I didn’t say I didn’t want it,” he says. “Thank you for the apology. I accept it.” They lock eyes again for a few more seconds before Changbin turns away. He hops off the hood of the car and simply starts to gather their trash. “I guess we should get going,” he murmurs. “We can still get a couple hundred miles in before the night is over.”

He moves to walk over to the driver’s side, but Seungmin reaches out, grabbing his wrist before he can go.

“No, let’s not—”

“Huh?” Changbin looks down at his hand, and he lets his fingers slowly unwrap themselves from around Changbin’s wrist.

“Let’s—” His breath hitches as he mentally makes up his mind on what he’s about to suggest, “Let’s go to Denver instead. Let’s have a nice day out before we head on to Chicago.”

Changbin frowns in confusion. “But we need to be in Chicago by the day after tomorrow…?”

“No, we don’t,” Seungmin is quick to answer. As the idea settles, the more he finds himself desperate to have this detour. “The wedding is in four days, if we take a day from that, that still leaves us with two days of non-stop driving. We’ll make it, I’ll make sure of it. We’ll probably even have enough time to spare to attend Hyunjin’s bachelor’s night out—”

“Jisung’s going to bitch and moan so hard if we don’t make it before that,” Changbin pointed out. “He’s going to expect us to help out with the entire thing.”

“That’s not our problem. He practically _volunteered_ to be the best man, so—” Seungmin shrugs.

Changbin laughs. “Let’s be real, Hyunjin said yes to that only because he didn’t want to have to choose between us.”

“Probably,” Seungmin agrees nonchalantly; he has, in fact, considered this a lot ever since Jisung had gotten the honor of being Hyunjin’s best man. It’s the only reason why he hadn’t made any objections - he didn’t think he had more right to the role than Changbin did. “But Jisung and whatever he wants to do for Hyunjin’s stag party is not our concern right now.”

“What is there even to do in Denver?”

Seungbin shrugs again. “We’ll figure it out—”

“Hold up, are you sick or—?” Changbin snickers, and moves over so he can place his palm over Seungmin’s forehead as if to check his temperature. “Feels normal to me.”

“Stop that,” Seungmin frowns as he slaps Changbin’s hand away. “If you don’t want to, then we don’t have to!”

“You’re being prickly again,” Changbin chastises him with a click of his tongue. “When did I say I didn’t want to? I just need to make sure you won’t wake up tomorrow and start yelling at me again.”

“I won’t, okay? I—” Seungmin sighs. This is the first time he’s pushed for something this hard, at least with Changbin. “We can check into a nice inn at the city tonight, and then I’ll come up with a quick and light itinerary for tomorrow.”

Changbin laughs. “An itinerary— okay, that’s more the Seungmin I know, then.” He still looks a bit apprehensive however, which almost makes Seungmin want to throw his hands in the air in defeat.

“Like I said,” he repeats, exasperated now. “If you don’t want to—”

“No, I do,” Changbin is quick to interrupt him this time. He offers Seungmin a tentative smile, the same one that came with his peace offering coffee barely even 36 hours ago. “I want to do it. Let’s do it.”

  
  
  


 

_**DAY THREE, D-4 to HJW** _  
_Driving Time: 6.5 hours_ _  
_ _Traveled: approx. 235 miles_

  
  


 

⎈⎈⎈

  
  


 

“So, where are we off to first?” Changbin asks as they sit across each other, sharing breakfast like they used to do when they were dating.

Earlier that day, for the first time in five days, Seungmin didn’t wake up feeling rushed. His phone screen said 7:48 AM, and in the background he could already hear the faint sound of running water inside the bathroom while Changbin showered. It promised to be a good day, and so far it really has been.

“I have no idea,” Seungmin answers as he forks a bite-sized piece off of the stack of pancakes that Changbin had ordered. “Honestly, I tried to look up places last night to put together a coherent day plan but— eventually I decided to just trust Google,” he explains, opening his Google Maps app to a pre-generated Day in Denver itinerary, and shows it to Changbin.

“You decided to trust Google,” Changbin slowly repeats, leaning in a bit to squint at Seungmin’s phone screen. He sounds like he’s in disbelief, and perhaps Seungmin can’t blame him for this. “You really said _fuck it, Google can plan my day._ You, Seungmin Kim, Master Planner Extraordinaire, decided to really leave our day— _our fates_ in the hands of Google. _”_

“Wow, shut the fuck up!” Seungmin groans, shoving his bite-sized pancake piece into Changbin’s mouth instead of his. “I would have depended on Google anyway, if I was putting together an original itinerary…”

“Yeshgsahm bmutmf—” Changbin tries to argue, but his mouth remains full as Seungmin keeps shoving food into it until he can barely chew.

“You look funny,” Seungmin tells him matter-of-factly, his own laughter held at bay. “Anyway, we can just pick and choose as we go along,” he says, pulling his phone back, and absentmindedly scrolling through the list of suggested places by Google. “If a place sucks, then we move on to the next one.”

Changbin’s eyes narrow at him even as he slowly chews on his food. “You’ve been acting weird since yesterday,” he says finally, after he’s swallowed with the help of a gulp of water.

Seungmin finally allows himself to laugh; he knows what Changbin means. It’s already been established that he’s a pretty self-aware kind of person. He’s usually much more efficient than this - it wasn’t an exaggeration when Changbin called him ‘Master Planner Extraordinaire.’ He likes having his days carefully planned, his schedule expertly curated because he doesn’t like having any time wasted. He would say he doesn’t know what came over him, except maybe he _does_ maybe have an idea.

_Is it so bad that I wanted this trip to last just a little bit longer?_

Changbin’s words have been echoing in his head since the previous night, and he knew it was because deep down, in the pits of his stomach - in the pits of his _heart_ \- that it’s what he wants too. Tomorrow, when they cross state lines, they’re going to lose another hour again and it gives Seungmin a feeling of dread. It’s a reminder that time keeps moving forward, while Seungmin remains stuck where he is, where he has been for the past two years - wading in self-loathing and what remains of his feelings for Changbin.

And if Changbin wants to linger? Just for now, Seungmin isn’t going to object.

“You used to tell me that I should be more spontaneous,” he finally answers Changbin, using a careful tone. “So here I am - stop complaining.”

Changbin sighs. “Hey, Seungmin,” he calls for him, saying his name so softly, as if it’s something fragile. “You know I never wanted to actually change you, right?”

Seungmin looks up, and allows a small smile to graze his lips when their eyes meet. “Don’t worry. I know.”

  
  
  


 

_“The building is made from Colorado rose onyx - also known as Beulah red marble, a type of stone so rare that all known reserves were used in the capitol’s construction,”_ Seungmin reads out loud from the pamphlet that they were handed at the beginning of the tour they’d just taken of the capitol state building.

“Seungmin…” Changbin glances at him, his expression stuck somewhere between amusement and disbelief. “Stop repeating what the tour guide already told us not even an hour ago.”

Seungmin huffs, rolls his eyes, and continues to drone on anyway, _“The capitol's original signature dome was made of copper, but was swapped out for gold in 1908 due to the copper’s tendency to oxidize, creating a dull patina cover—”_

“Oh, I get it, you’re just trying to annoy me now?” Changbin asks, this time freely laughing while shaking his head. “Seungmin—” he says the name like it’s a warning, and the moment Seungmin looks up, he grins and snatches the brochure away from him. “Stop that, and just—” He taps the camera that was once again hanging off of Seungmin’s neck. “Take pictures.” He pauses, and glances across the street where Colorado’s State Capitol Building - the one they’d just exited ten or so minutes ago - stood.

Seungmin lets out a heavy but put-upon sigh. “If I must,” he says dramatically, like he’s being forced to, but soon enough he gets lost in his photography.

“Hey—” Changbin flips through the pamphlet in his hands, “You’re really into this kind of thing, huh? You wanted to be an architect when you were younger, right?”

Seungmin looks at him; he vaguely recalls mentioning this to Changbin once, years ago, in passing. “You remember me saying that?”

“Huh?” Changbin looks genuinely confused as he looks up from the pamphlet. “Why would I forget?”

“Oh. No reason,” Seungmin shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant so as to not show how pleased he actually is that Changbin remembered something seemingly so trivial about him. “But—” He offers a smile, “Yeah. I probably would have majored in architecture if I didn’t decide that becoming a lawyer was more practical.”

“I mean, don’t architects earn big, too?” Changbin asks. “Besides, you love it as well, don’t you? The Law?”

Seungmin hums, and scrolls through the pictures on his camera. “Yeah, I think I do?” He agrees quietly. “I think I’m pretty good at it, too.”

Changbin snorts and laughs. “I bet you are— and besides, it kind of fits you. I’m sure you just _love_ winning arguments,” he chides, pausing and flashing him a cheeky grin when Seungmin glares at him. “You’re good at that too. Winning arguments.”

Seungmin scoffs. “I am, aren’t I?”

“Yeah— you also like having the last word a little too much,” Changbin continues to tease him.

Seungmin rolls his eyes, but Changbin is right because he’s already trying to think of a comeback because he really _does_ want to have the last word.

“I also like _you_ a little too much,” he ends up saying, surprising even himself as the words just slide off his tongue. He freezes, and looks down, pretending to be focused on his camera again, but even from the corner of his eye, he notices the way Changbin’s eyes widen in shock.

He bites the inside of his cheek, because as embarrassed as he is about his words, it _does_ please him that he’s somehow shut Changbin up.

  
  
  


 

Two years, two months and three days. This was how long Seungmin and Changbin were together. At least this was how long they were together _officially._

“Let’s break up.”

It was Changbin who initiated it; when he said the words, his voice was quiet, even, _subdued._ Still, upon closer look, Seungmin easily noticed the way his bottom lip quivered - he was nervous, _unsure._

Seungmin wasn’t sure if he was surprised, or if he was expecting it.

Things had been a little subdued between the two of them for a few months already, since shortly after he started law school. He knew - because this was the curse of being so damn self aware - that he’d been more irritable, and more detached as well. He was busy, and he was only getting busier as time passed, so maybe he _should_ have expected it.

But he didn’t, because he believed in Changbin, and in their relationship. That, or, as he was starting to realise that day,  he really had taken Changbin’s patience for granted.

“Oh,” was all he could reply because he had no idea what else he could say.

_“Oh?”_ Changbin repeated, frustration clearly etched on his features. “That’s all you have to say?”

No, it wasn’t all Seungmin had to say, but it was all that came out. In truth he wanted to object, to argue - to tell Changbin that he can’t give up just like that. He wanted to remind Changbin of the ways they actually worked well, of the times they were actually happy together, but he got all choked up in his own ego so he just stood there.

“Okay, then,” he said instead, calmly as if he wasn’t screaming on the inside. As if his heart wasn’t being torn into pieces because of the hurt look on Changbin’s face. “I mean—” His breath hitched, and for that brief second, an expression of hope passed Changbin’s features. “I mean,” Seungmin repeated, “This is probably for the best.”

Changbin stared at him, and Seungmin observed quietly as he went from surprised to hurt to forcibly detached. “For the best,” he repeated with a small nod.

“I mean, I’ve been really busy, and my workload isn’t going to be any lighter, so—” Seungmin shrugged. “Nothing’s really going to get better.”

Changbin let out some noise that sounded like choked back laughter - or sobs, Seungmin couldn’t really tell. But then Changbin nodded as well. “Alright,” he said. “Glad to know we’re on the same page, I guess.”

They really fucking weren’t, but Seungmin’s pride refused to give way.

“Well, then,” Changbin actually _smiled,_ and he looked so hurt, but resigned, but still Seungmin couldn’t bring himself to fight for his feelings. “I hope you do well, Seungmin. In school— in life.” He chuckled softly.

Seungmin really wanted to slap him right then, because he couldn't believe that Changbin had the _gall_ to dump him and wish him well all at once. _You don’t get to fucking do that,_ he wanted to say, but he didn’t.

“Sure,” he answered as coldly as he can. “You too,” he returned, but he didn’t really sound like he meant it because in that moment, he sure as fuck didn’t.

“Hey—” Changbin sighed, and Seungmin almost softened. There was something in his tone that seemed hopeful, and he hated himself for grabbing onto it, because in the next breath, “Let’s try to be friends, okay?”

It made Seungmin almost want to throw up.

“I mean,” Changbin continued. “We have the same friends— and I don’t want any of them, Hyunjin especially, to have to choose between us.”

It was unfair that he had to bring up Hyunjin and the others; it was unfair because there was no ay Seungmin could say no, and he hated that Changbin was like this. That Changbin was a genuine nice guy, while he could feel his own pettiness practically rising up his throat.

“Okay,” he answered, thankful that he managed to keep his voice steady. It should be funny, because he was always the type to express displeasure without second thought, but here he was, robotically just agreeing with everything his boyfriend - his _ex-boyfriend_ was saying. “Whatever,” he added, petty in his need to appear unaffected.

Changbin smiled quietly, and Seungmin could tell he had more he wanted to say - but he didn’t, and Seungmin knew Changbin well enough to be aware that this was him, graciously (annoyingly) letting Seungmin have the last word.

  
  
  


 

**{** **district nine** **,** _9 members, 6 online_ **}**

**hw__hj00:** @seungmin @changbin when r u guys arriving?

**hw__hj00:** we just picked felix up fr the airport

**hw__hj00:** chris is arriving tomorrow, and jeongin’s been here since ytd

**hw__hj00:** woojin had a work emergency so he’s arriving tmr too

**leelix:** oy m8s!

**yang.j:** i’m here too 🙋♂️

**leelix:** GUYS APPARENTLY NAKKO’S SETTING JEONGIN UP W A FRIEND OF HERS

**leelix:** BUT WHAT ABOUT ME??

**leelix:** hyunjin tell ur woman i want a girl too

**1jisung1:** minho and i r boarding in half an hr!

**1jisung1:** @felix geez man that’s what weddings r for

**1jisung1:** find ur own hookup! i’ll be ur wingman

**imknow:** no need to pick us up either

**leelix:** i knew i could count on u bro @jisung

**imknow:** we’ll just get an uber to the hotel

**chrisbangz:** popping in here for a sec

**chrisbangz:** but i’ll just get a cab or an uber to the hotel too

**hw__hj00:** @seungmin @changbin ???

**hw__hj00:** @felix tell her urself u’re literally sitting next 2 her

**hw__hj00:** @jisung @minho u 2 have any contact w them?

**imknow:** nah but don’t worry

**imknow:** im sure seungmin was just kidding every time he said he wanted to kill changbin in his sleep

**hw__hj00:** minho 😅😅😅

  
  
  


 

In the afternoon, they find themselves in the city park.

“You okay there?” Changbin asks after Seungmin slumps down on the nearest outside bench. He looks like he’s about to laugh, but a withering glare from Seungmin has him holding it back.

They’ve spent the last several hours walking around the zoo found within the park, with Seungmin mostly taking pictures when allowed, and now he was exhausted.

“I hate walking,” he grumbles, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“You’re the one who wanted to go here,” Changbin points out, moving to take the seat next to him. “But here,” he rummages through his bag and pulls out a still half-full water tumbler. “Drink up, and then we can head towards the nature and science museum.”

Seungmin groans. “Can we just… not?” He sighs, takes the water container and practically downs the rest of its contents in one gulp before he returns it to Changbin. “I’m tired.”

“Again,” Changbin stares at his tumbler, as if in disbelief that Seungmin really didn’t leave any for him, “You’re the one who suggested these activities.”

“I know,” Seungmin says. “And now I’m _un-_ suggesting.”

Changbin shrugs and instead pulls out another smaller, but untouched water bottle from his bag. He unscrews the cap and drinks from it as Seungmin stares. “What?” He asks, wiping his mouth with the back of hand and giving Seungmin a strange look once he’s done.

“How many water containers do you have stashed in there?” He asks, eyeing the bag.

Changbin offers him the bottle and he takes it graciously; he’s glad they aren’t fifteen, and there’s no one like Jisung around to give them flak about ‘indirect kisses.’

“I was raised a boy scout,” Changbin comments. “So I’m always prepared.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Stop spouting nonsense,” he says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“How is that nonsense?!” Changbin laughs, and shoves the bottle and tumbler back into his bag once Seungmin is done drinking. “I really was one you, know,” he says with a more solemn tone. “A boy scout. I was even troop leader at once and I had all the badges to show for it too! And then I quit right after I made it to Eagle Scouts—”

Seungmin stares at him, unsure what to make of this brand-new, yet ultimately trivial information. If anything, he’s just surprised because in all the years he’s known Changbin this is actually the first he’s hearing of this. “Are you for real?” And then he starts laughing because the image of a tiny Changbin, all decked in his scouting gear, crosses his imagination. “Do you have pictures?”

Changbin grins, obviously pleased to have caused Seungmin’s glee. “My mom for sure has some,” he admits without shame. “Guess you’ll have to ask her.”

“I guess I do,” Seungmin agrees softly. He shifts in his seat and glances around the area, trying to focus on admiring their surroundings instead of all the stray thoughts running around his head. “Does your mom know you’re on this trip with me?” He ends up blurting out eventually, his attempt at distractions quite vain.

“Do I look like I tell my mom everything?” Changbin asks with a snort.

Seungmin gives him a pointed look, unsure whether to laugh or roll his eyes some more. “Changbin,” he says, head shaking in judgment. “I _know_ you tell your mother everything.”

Changbin ducks his head, appearing embarrassed as if his status as a mama’s boy isn’t a fact widely known within their friend group. “Okay,” he admits, “She knew I was going on a trip with you. And Minho and Jisung. Haven’t really updated her since we started the trip.”

He shrugs, and Seungmin reads that the implication is that his mother has absolutely no idea that he’s out here, alone on a cross-country drive with just his ex. “What would she have said if she knew it was just you and me?” He finds himself asking.

Changbin snorts, and turns to look at him. “She’d be way too pleased,” he answers. “You were always her favorite— but that’s why I didn’t tell her.”

Seungmin frowns, unsure what to make of Changbin’s words. “What do you mean…?”

“Oh, uh—” Changbin sighs. “She’d have gotten her hopes up, probably. Didn’t want to put her through that,” he elaborates, looking down and pretending to be busy with picking lint off his pants instead of meeting Seungmin’s gaze.

“Right,” Seungmin nods. “Because it’s not like this—” He gestures between the two of them; there’s growing aggression in his tone, and he’s annoyed at himself for letting the conversation go this direction when they were having such a good day, “—is ever going to happen again, after all.”

Changbin turns to face him, forehead creased with confusion. _“What?”_

Seungmin doesn’t respond, instead just taking his phone out so he can pretend to be busy with it. “Hyunjin’s looking for us,” he announces in a deadpan tone. “What should I say to the group?”

_“Seungmin,”_ Changbin calls for him, sounding mildly exasperated. He reaches over and tries to take Seungmin’s phone away; he stages a half-hearted protest that barely lasts two seconds before he gives in and he surrenders the gadget. “What’s on your mind?”

The hint of irritation that was there when Changbin said his name, is gone just as quickly as it had appeared; it’s another one of those times when Changbin’s endless well of patience just serves to irk Seungmin more.

“Nothing,” he mumbles, running his hands across his lap before he starts to get up. “My legs are fine now, let’s get going.”

_“Seungmin,”_ Changbin says his name again in _that_ way, and this time, he’s quick to reach out, grab his wrist and pull him back down. “Let’s talk. You clearly have a lot of things you want to say.”

Stubborn as ever, Seungmin only releases an annoyed huff, snatching his hand away from Changbin in the process, and folding his arms across his chest.

“Fine,” Changbin sighs. “I’ll talk then—” But then he stops, and Seungmin can’t help but glance at him. “Today—” He tries to start, but he seems unsure how to put his words together so Seungmin relaxes and turns to actually look at him completely. “Today’s actually been really nice,” Changbin finally continues, the slight change in Seungmin’s body language encouraging him. “I kind of missed this— missed us. _Missed you.”_

Seungmin stares at him. “Changbin,” he begins. _Fuck you,_ he almost says because these are the first words that really come to mind. _How dare you,_ are the next ones, but those get stuck in his throat as well. “You broke up with me,” is what he settles with instead, thankful that his voice barely breaks when he speaks. _You dumped me. You broke my heart. You don’t get to say these things._

But Seungmin also knows that he didn’t do his part when he could have. He didn’t tell Changbin how he really felt; he allowed himself to slowly pull away until Changbin was left with nothing but doubt about their relationship. Changbin had always been the one to anchor him, and when he started to let go, Seungmin did nothing to hold him back. So maybe, in some ways, he broke his own heart too.

“I—” Changbin is frowning; he rightfully looks guilty and upset, but that hardly does anything to help appease the pain that’s resurfaced in Seungmin’s heart. “I know that,” he murmurs, head hung low. “I know I did— and I’m sorry. I really am, but is it so wrong to miss you? To still care?” He lets out a low whiny, growly sound - it’s his embarrassed noise, and despite himself, Seungmin almost cracks a smile. _Almost._

He looks down at his hands, quiet because he doesn’t know what to say anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin repeats; and then he lets out a resigned chuckle when Seungmin barely reacts.. “I really don’t have the right to be saying this. It’s been a good day, so let’s try to move past—”

“Shut up,” Seungmin interrupts. “Give me a minute, okay?” He purses his lips and looks up, eyes determined. “Give me a minute to sort out my feelings, _fuck.”_ He inhales deeply, trying to give himself the time he needs to gather his thoughts. “I _know_ today’s been a good day— fuck, it’s been a _great_ day. It reminded me of everything that was _great_ about us. It reminded of why—” His breath hitches again, and he whines, already embarrassed about the words that he knows are going to come next, “—I love you. _Loved._ Love— _fuck!”_ The words get all mixed up, and he gets confused between what he means to say out loud and what he’d meant to just keep in his thoughts.

“Present tense?” Changbin looks at him, tentative hope mirrored in his eyes. “Love?”

“Whatever.” Seungmin closes his eyes, and sighs in defeat. He’s tired of keeping his feelings at bay, tired of feeling like he has to put up a front around _Changbin,_ of all people.

Beside him, Changbin has also fallen into uncharacteristic silence. Seungmin refuses to look at him, but with what he knows about Changbin - and he knows _a lot_ \- he can imagine that the smaller male has a solemn expression on, as he considers everything that’s been said in the exchange.

They sit there quietly for a while, arms barely brushing against each other; Seungmin starts to look around again, filling his head with random thoughts and casual observations about their surroundings - anything, really, to make him forget about the awkward tension that’s suddenly formed between him and Changbin.

And then, when he finally manages to stop paying attention to how close Changbin is, he feels the latter’s hand slowly slide into his, fingers curling through his in a possessive manner. Surprised, he turns and gives Changbin a questioning look.

“Maybe— maybe I don’t have the right to ask this but,” Changbin straightens up and gives Seungmin’s hand a longing squeeze, “can we just enjoy what’s left of this trip? And then— after Hyunjin’s wedding, we can just—” He looks uncertain again, and Seungmin can feel his hand slowly starting to pull away.

“We’ll figure it out when we do,” he speaks up, and this time he’s the one grabbing onto Changbin’s hand, refusing to let go. He flashes a small, uncertain smile and Changbin graciously mirrors it. “So right now,” he continues, “let’s just enjoy what’s left of this god-awful road trip.”

“Call,” Changbin answers immediately, nodding a little too eagerly and Seungmin can’t help but grudgingly admit to himself that it’s cute.

“Okay,” he says, as usual, feeling the need to have the last word. “Good.”

  
  
  


 

_**DAY FOUR, D-3 to HJW** _  
_Driving Time: —_ _  
_ _Traveled:_ ~~_the distance between two hearts_ ~~

  
  


 

⎈⎈⎈

  
  


 

They drive, and drive, _and drive._

They hit the road, and they cruise down the highway non-stop - they have a thousand miles to travel, and they have forty eight hours to make that travel. Considerably less than that, if they factor in sleep and nourishment.

When they once again exit into the I-80, Changbin puts on that old Vanessa Carlton song. And then, very much to Seungmin’s chagrin, he starts singing along loudly and obnoxiously.

_“If I could fall! Into the sky! Do you think time! Would pass me by!”_

Changbin punctuates every line with an obvious exclamation; his belting is occasionally marred by throaty laughter and Seungmin can’t help but groan in embarrassment even though only the two of them are around to witness Changbin’s one man show.

_“'Cause you know I'd waaaaaaaaaalk a thousand miiiiiiiles! If I could just! Seeeeeeeeeee Seungmin!”_

Seungmin almost chokes when Changbin actually adds his name at the tail of the last chorus.

“Fuck,” He groans, but he’s turned into a deep shade of red and no one can tell if it’s out of embarrassment for Changbin, or if it’s because his heart is secretly warmed by the cheesiness. “You’re so embarrassing!” He continues, but Changbin simply lets out a self-satisfied laugh at his comment.

“You like it,” Changbin declares.

Seungmin hums and pretends to ignore him by looking outside his window; eventually he;’s unable to help himself, and without another word, he finds himself reaching for Changbin’s hand. Their hands remain linked for a good part of the drive, almost like Seungmin’s hand has found a temporary home in Changbin’s.

“You know I should be driving with two hands,” Changbin tells him, his tone playful while a teasing smirk graces his lips.

“Whatever,” Seungmin answers, refusing to let go. “Be a bit of a rebel, won’t you?”

Changbin lets out a fake gasp. “Seungmin Kim? Advocating rebelliousness?! Is the world ending?!”

“Fine—” Seungmin almost lets go this time, but Changbin laughs, takes his hand and kisses the back of it. “Ew,” Seungmin grumbles, but then he shuts up because now he’s sure that the blush on his cheeks has everything to do with the way his heart just skipped a beat.

The days should feel longer, with all the roadwork ahead of them, but suddenly they actually feel _too_ short.

  
  
  


 

The first time they traveled together out-of-state, just the two of them, it was also to attend a wedding. It was of Changbin’s cousins' wedding, up in Washington, and Seungmin had been nervous because they’d only been dating for a couple of months then and he hadn’t been sure if he was up to already meeting Changbin’s family just yet.

He really thought he was going to make a fool out of himself, and sure enough, just as he’d entered the hotel lobby so he can be introduced to Changbin’s parents, he’d tripped on his own two feet. (“Like I was fucking _Han Jisung,”_ he’d bitched and moaned to Changbin later that night, while his boyfriend just shamelessly _laughed_ at his woes.)

The rest of the weekend hadn’t really fared much better - Changbin ended up being tasked to be the errand boy for most of the last minute tasks needed to be accomplished, and Seungmin ended up being dragged along up and down the city. It was so completely far removed from the romantic weekend that he’d originally been promised, which had him snapping passive aggressively at Changbin left and right.

Changbin, in all his saintly glory, had of course remained patient, just taking in every other pointed remark Seungmin threw his way. The actual wedding ceremony, at least, had considerably softened Seungmin up, and by the time the best man was halfway through his speech at the reception, he’d leaned in towards Changbin, quite remorseful as he whispered, “Sorry for being a complete bitch to you this weekend. I know it wasn’t your fault.”

It had been a blow to his pride, an apology like that, but the way Changbin’s entire face had lit up made it worth it.

“I know,” Changbin said anyway. “But I’m sorry too— and I’m going to make it up to you, okay?”

Seungmin nodded, and a smile had grazed his lips right before he’d planted a soft peck on Changbin’s cheek. He had assumed that his boyfriend meant he was going to address reparations once they were back home in San Francisco, but it wasn’t even half an hour later before Changbin was pulling him out of his seat and dragging him along with him outside the reception area.

“Where are we going?” Seungmin asked, confused.

“It’s a surprise,” Changbin said, laughing. Seungmin wanted to ask more - wanted to ask why and how Changbin managed to steal away one of the champagne bottles from the dining hall -  because that was just how he functioned - he needed to _know_ things. But Changbin remained mum, and Seungmin had enough faith in him to keep following him as the smaller male led him up and down a couple of blocks until they reached—

“A park?” Seungmin gawked in disbelief. It wasn’t anywhere particularly special or romantic, really. There were a few street lamps littering the place, and a few stragglers walking and hanging around.

Changbin scratched the back of his head. “I know— sorry,” he apologised, laughing. “Acting like it was such a big surprise probably built up suspense, it’s just— I guess I wanted to get you alone.”

Seungmin turned to him, for once not feeling any trace of annoyance or resentment at all.

“Sorry for getting you involved with everything I needed to do this weekend,” Changbin continued. “But here—” He grinned as he showed off the champagne bottle, and then he held up a paper bag - this, Seungmin had been curious about from the start. “I also befriended one of the caterers, and got her to sneak me a few slices of the wedding cake.”

It was all so simple, but so sweet and _so_ _Changbin_ , that Seungmin could only laugh in appreciation.

“Thank you,” he said, genuinely feeling as if his entire being had lit up with glee; before he knew it, he had wrapped both his arms around Changbin in a tight hug.

“Seungmin,” Changbin half gasped, half laughed. “Are you happy?”

“Very,” Seungmin said, answering easily because in that rare moment, he felt like there was no reason to second guess himself, no reason to hide what he was feeling. “You make me very happy.”

  
  
  


 

**{** **district nine** **,** _9 members, 6 online_ **}**

**1jisung1:** SEUNGMIN?! CHANGBIN?!?!

**1jisung1:** WHY ARENT U ANSWERING UR PHONES?!?!

**1jisung1:** GUYS?!

**1jisung1:** U’RE STILL ALIVE RIGHT?!?!

**1jisung1:** U’RE NOT DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE?!

**1jisung1:** EVERYONE ELSE IS HERE

**1jisung1:** I HAVE A FUCKING FUN NIGHT PLANNED FOR HYUNJIN’S LAST DAY OF FREEDOM

**1jisung1:** AS HIS BEST FRIENDS U SHOULD BE HERE?!

**1jisung1:** but w8 fuck i hope u guys r alive

**1jisung1:** pls answer ur phones minho’s been calling nonstop

**crepebin:** jesus fuck jisung calm down

**crepebin:** we’re fine

**crepebin:** we’re crossing state lines now

**1jisung1:** WOW FUCKING FINALLY

**yang.j:** lol jisung’s been ugly crying out of panic

**1jisung1:** HAVE NOT!

**w00j1n:** can attest to that

**1jisung1:** I HAVE NOT

**1jisung1:** MINHO TELL ‘EM

**imknow:** ??

**imknow:** he hasn’t been ugly sobbing

**imknow:** just sniffling a bit

**imknow:** out of worry.

**imknow:** out of RIGHTFUL worry where the fck have u guys been??

**crepebin:** the highway

**crepebin:** anyw we’re in the right state now

**crepebin:** but we’re 2 fucking tired

**crepebin:** we’ll prob just crash at the hotel

**crepebin:** we’ll see u guys tmr

**crepebin:** sry we won’t make the rehearsal dinner

**crepebin:** or the bitching night out jisung has apparently planned

**1jisung1:** WAIT WHAT?!

**1jisung1:** U CAN MISS THE REHEARSAL BUT NOT THE PARTY

**hw__hj00:** 😅😅

**hw__hj00:** at least u guys will be here in time 4 the wedding tmr right?

**crepebin:** neither of us would miss it for the world bro

**crepebin:** anyw have fun tonight!

**crepebin:** but seungmin says not TOO much fun

**imknow:** seungmin says?

**imknow:** glad 2 know u’re talking to each other now 👀

**crepebin:** u would be, asshole

**crepebin:** seungmin says he still wants 2 kill u and ur bf

**imknow:** uh huh but rmb, hyunjin says no murder at the wedding!

**1jisung1:** BUT WAIT WHY CAN’T YOU COME TO THE PARTY?!!?

  
  
  


 

_**DAY FIVE & SIX, D-2, 1 to HJW** _  
_Driving Time: approx. 18 hours overall_ _  
_ _Traveled:  approx. 1000 miles_

  
  


 

⎈⎈⎈

  
  


 

Jisung, as Hyunjin’s best man, delivers a funny speech at the wedding reception - humorous mainly because he manages to humorously mix his index cards up halfway through it, causing him to have to apologise while frantically trying to re-order his cue cards.

Hyunjin, of course, just laughs it off, and Jisung being Jisung confidently throws away the cards, and starts over with a speech he makes up on the spot.

“That should’ve been you, you know,” Seungmin tells Changbin as everyone cheers for Jisung.

“Or you,” Changbin returns. “But look at him—” He laughs, and gestures at Jisung who has moved on to announcing the bride and groom’s first dance of the night. “He’s basking in the attention— and I hear they actually all had a fun time last night. Jisung’s good at being responsible when he needs to be. Besides, not worrying about Hyunjin and his wedding gave us time to think about other things…” He trails off, and Seungmin can only assume that by ‘other things’ he means ‘whatever this is that’s going on between us.’

As usual, this leaves Seungmin feeling both nicely warm and annoyingly speechless.

“Look,” Changbin nudges him and gestures at the dance floor where other couples have started to join Hyunjin and Nakyung. He initially assumes it’s Changbin’s way of asking him to dance, but he’s glad that he takes a few seconds to react, because as it turns out, he’s actually pointing at Jeongin, who has just walked onto the dance floor. Together with him is one of the bridesmaids, and Seungmin assumes this is the friend that Nakyung has set him up with; he thinks her name is Jiheon - he isn’t sure because she’s someone that Nakyung knows from Chicago, rather than from university like the rest of them.

“They’re cute together,” Seungmin comments with an agreeable smile. “Hyunjin told me this is a match that’s Nakyung’s been angling to make ever since she met Jiheon at work— imagine that. But Jeongin looks happy and possibly into her— it’s cute! He deserves cuteness and happiness, so I approve.”

“You sound like a Dad commenting on your first born’s love life,” Changbin teases. “Jeongin isn’t a baby, Seungmin.”

“Whatever,” Seungmin huffs. “They look cute dancing together. They have matching smiles.”

Changbin laughs, leaning forward so he can rest his elbows on the table; it’s just the two of them left in their seats now that their friends have all gone to socialize with other guests. “You know,” he starts, “There was a time when I thought you were into Jeongin.”

“What—?!” Seungmin blinks rapidly, processing Changbin’s words before he bursts out laughing. _“What?”_

Changbin shrugs. “That was before we started going out - around the time when you first brought Jeongin over.”

Seungmin makes a face - he’s never thought of Jeongin as anything more than a little brother figure. “That’s weird.”

“I know it is _now,”_ Changbin points out. “Not then. Back then I also didn’t think you’d like _me.”_

“Oh.” Seungmin glances at him, before moving his chair forward so that he’s closer to Changbin. He nudges the older, and laughs softly, as a distant memory crosses his mind. “You know, Jeongin was the first one to catch on.”

“Catch on?”

“That I, uh—” Seungmin mumbles the next words, “ — _Ilikedyou.”_

“What was that again?” Changbin leans closer as if to hear better, but a sly smirk is curved on his lips, indicating that he definitely understood what Seungmin meant.

“Whatever. He figured out that I liked you, okay?” Seungmin huffs, and rolls his eyes, and pretends that liking Changbin is a simple fact that doesn’t secretly make his heart beat twice as fast every time he admits it out loud.

Changbin smiles, and he leans away again. There’s an unreadable expression that settles on his features, and Seungmin wonders if this time, maybe he should be the one to ask what’s on his mind.

“So, we’re here now,” Changbin speaks up again before Seungmin can work up the nerve to say anything, though.

“Here?”

“Here— Hyunjin’s wedding,” Changbin says slowly. “Trip’s over, so— where do we go from here?”

_Oh._

The trip’s over, and it’s only now that this starts to sink in.

_Where do we go from here?_

He thinks about the last few days - it was barely a week but it felt too long and too short at the same time. And as Seungmin studies Changbin’s face, he realises that going forward with him is exactly what he wants, because all the highs made the lows worth it.

“We— I guess we keep the car running,” he answers finally.

“You realise we’re leaving the car here, in Chicago, with Hyunjin,” is Changbin’s cheeky response.

“You realise I meant that metaphorically,” Seungmin says, eyes rolling so hard because he’d somehow expected that coming from the other.

“You realise I was just joking,” Changbin says, grinning.

“You realise you’re still not funny,” Seungmin answers, and he has to bite the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t laugh and validate his ex-maybe-present boyfriend’s corniness.

“You love me anyway,” Changbin counters, and Seungmin could only gasp sharply this time; his reaction, of course, has Changbin cracking up.

“Changbin,” Seungmin sighs, because the way Changbin’s laughter fills his heart with warmth reminds him how scary feelings are. “I’m—” He purses his lips, and curls his hands into nervous fists. “I’m going to try to be better at this, so please be patient with me some more?”

“This?”

“This— us,” Seungmin mumbles, looking down in embarrassment.

Changbin laughs, and then before Seungmin realises it, he’s leaned in so close that their noses are practically touching. “I will be,” he whispers, his voice low and gravelly, sending shivers down Seungmin’s spine. “This time, I will be,” he repeats, a smile breaking out on his features.

Seungmin thinks, amidst the din of his heart beating, that this is it - Changbin is going to kiss him. His eyelids flutter close, and he waits expectantly. But before he can feel lips on his, Jisung's loud voice breaks through the moment, and his eyes fly open.

“Make out later!” Jisung tells them, laughing as he grabs both of them by their arms. “Dance floor now!” He demands as he pulls them both along with him. Behind him, Seungmin easily spots Minho sporting an expression that’s somewhere halfway between smug and amused.

_Right,_ he thinks, remembering that he’s still scheduled to murder those two after the wedding.

Beside him, Changbin is groaning in response to Jisung’s antics, but he hardly puts up any protest anyway. On the dance floor, Jisung finally lets them go so he can turn to face Minho instead, and Seungmin is left there, awkwardly standing in front of his Changbin.

“Well,” Changbin shrugs, and grins in defeat. “Let me have this dance?”

Or, he supposes, smiling as well when he takes Changbin’s offered hand, he can spare Minho and Jisung’s lives just this once.

It all worked out in the end, anyway.

  
  
  


 

 

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> [ 6 ] Thanks for making it to the end! Now that you’re here though, I want to say that I’m not exactly well-versed in driving across the US, and Google helped me a lot in mapping out the trip featured in this. I’ve never ever set foot in the US, much less Denver, so all information found here, I basically got off of Google. Apologies for any inaccuracies that might have occurred! 
> 
> [ 7 ] Talk to me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/rainsoundsmp3), or entertain me on [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/yiminho). As usual, any and all types of feedback and comments are appreciated! ♥


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